Swans - Buy One Get One
by EllieFayeT
Summary: Edward is absent for Bella's first day of school & is sulking in the woods when he happens upon the most intoxicating scent he's ever encountered...Two Swans are about to face some changes; Charlie wants to be a good dad, & he's going to start by trying to protect his daughter. He'll get his chance, maybe for longer than he ever imagined...
1. Chapter 1

_**~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~**_

_**Author:**_ frggystyl

_**Pairing(s):**_ Alice &amp; Charlie, Bella &amp; Jasper

_**Genre:**_ Supernatural, Romance, Suspense, Humor

_**Rating:**_ M (at least old enough to vote, mmm kay?)

_**Status:**_ In progress

_**Pre-Reader:** _BetterInTexas

_**Betas:** _Teresa Segrest &amp; MrsAlderaan

**_Banner Made By:_**Mist 3

_**Readers of this story:** Um, you guys rock my socks. Yep. _

_**Summary:**_

At Alice's request, Edward is absent for Bella's first day of school. While sulking in the woods contemplating his siblings' recent secrecy, Edward happens upon the most intoxicating scent he's ever encountered...

Something is about to go down at Casa Swan &amp; there are two targets in the cross hairs. Charlie wants to be a good dad, &amp; he's going to start by doing what comes naturally to a good dad, trying to protect his daughter. He'll get his chance, maybe for longer than he ever imagined...

_(First Fan Fic - constructive criticism welcomed!)_

**Disclaimer: **

~It is my full intent to have grown up subject matter. There will be swearing (and lots of it), character death, sex &amp; who know what else. If you mom would get mad at you reading this kind of story (and is able to punish you for doing so), then you are probably too young.

~This story was un-beta'd up until chapter 4. Chapter 4 and beyond are all checked, but chapters 3 &amp; under contain only my mistakes.

~Oh, and... I own only the mind that created this story right here. Any characters you recognize, I don't own them. And if I did own them, I'd be much richer. But, I'm not. So, yeah...

Bella POV

Ugh. Just, ugh. Guess it's a much more positive sentiment than I expected to be able to express after my first day on display. I all things considered, my first day at Forks High could have been worse. Having moved often with my capricious, lovable, hairbrained mom multiple times in her various searches for, well, whatever she was looking for at that time, I figured I would be ready for this move. Once you've been a new kid, you can do it at any school, right? Wrong.

My notoriety could have been due to several factors. Being the daughter of the beloved police chief whose flighty wife took off with their only child may have been a contributing factor. Let's not forget that it was the middle of the first semester of my Junior year not unusual to start up then. Oh, then there is the fact that this entire town's population is only slightly smaller than the student body at my last high school. I guess when everyone has gone to the same school since kindergarten, new faces like my pale one tend to stick out. Well, I didn't stick out as much as the only other new kids in Forks since the 1980s, the Carters, er, um, Cullens. Looked like someone did a cut &amp; paste from an Abercrombie ad &amp; put the touched up models in the wrong picture. They somehow managed to look more out of place than me, a truly magnificent feat. All four of them seemed otherworldly. According to Jessica, my apparent new BFF or tapeworm, the 'hottest' and only available Cullen, Edwin (I think?) was absent.

My arrival could have been a little less traumatic; would have been nice for Charlie, er, um, Dad, to keep his yap shut. Yeah, I get that he's excited to have me live here with him. Apparently it was too much to ask that he keep some of that excitement in. Considering Char..Dad likes the spotlight as much as I do he might have maybe tried to help me slip in under the radar or something. No such luck. Guess Mr. Stoic the Mustachioed gets to gossiping like a girl when he gets too excited.

Alright, time to find the silver lining on this cloud… every cloud is supposed to have one, right? Don't want to walk in from my first day looking like someone kicked my puppy. It is obvious Charlie is already far too nervous about making me happy here. I can just imagine him in Port Angeles trying to pick out the new bedding. Oh, the color of red he must've turned while buying that purple comforter &amp; accent pillows. Doubt he even knew what an accent pillow even was until he got taken by the sales lady. Bet she got a commission off of THAT sale. Dad kind of went overboard trying to make my room comfortable. No one needs THAT many throw pillows. Guess the ol' sales gal really did snow Dad, huh?

So, Bella, silver lining, silver lining, silver lining – Ooh – my truck DOES kick ass. And I didn't have to get a police escort to and from school. That was the thing I'd most dreaded about moving here. Well, that and the first day of school. First day of school wasn't my cup of tea, so I'd just have to go with the warm &amp; fuzzies I could conjure up while thinking of my new beast. Hell, Beast might even be a good name for this beautiful tank!

With these thoughts, I grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat and opened my door, trying to swing my legs as I pulled my backpack towards me. Smart, Bella. Ever just KNOW something is going to happen and you are powerless to stop it? Not like psychic kind of stuff (as if), no, more like, you can just TELL that a certain idiot on the road is going to crash or that a kid is going to burn their hand on the stove, that kind of stuff? Well, here I sat, er, um, fell watching the cement rapidly approaching my face. I knew that if I didn't brace myself that my face &amp; this patch of cement were going to become quite friendly &amp; stitches would not a good second day of school make.

Grace may not be my strong point, but minimizing the effects of a fall sure may be… folks as klutzy as I am tend to master the art of the fall pretty quick. I was able to use my filled backpack's momentum to swing the impromptu cushion under by belly and braced my hands to catch the fall.

I heard rather than felt the effects of the fall first. A loud "oof" left my mouth as the familiar sound of my body hitting the ground followed. Waiting for the pain to kick in, I heard Char, Dad, rushing down the stairs.

"Bells! Wow! Still know how to take a good fall, eh, kiddo?" Charlie rushed. "What did my sidewalk ever do to you? Seems like once a visit you always get into it with the ol' sidewalk &amp; you've yet to win a bout, Bella. Might wanna consider laying off the ol' sidewalk for a while, considering you'll be living here. One fall every two weeks on this sidewalk could take a lot of extra pressure washing in the spring."

Old man has jokes, huh?

A large part of me felt like doing an impression of Peter Griffin skinning his knee (Dad always HAS has loved juvenile humor), but an even larger part realized that I was too out of breath and in too much pain to try and have jokes, too. So, since joking was out, looks like Operation Hurt Little Girl was in effect.

Not bothering to wipe the tears from my eyes ('cause that fucking fall hurt), I looked up at Charlie, DAD, and sniffled. "Daddy, if you really loved me, you would take my side against my nemesis. This sidewalk just hurt me &amp; you are there making jokes!"

Reaching down to help me up, Dad chuckled, "Nemesis, huh? And I'm the jokester"

"Yes, Dad, nemesis. Enemy, adversary, foe, rival."

The smell hit. Ugh. Worse than ugh. Copper, metal, rust, the undeniable smell of blood. You'd think a fall-taking klutz like me would be used to the smell. Well, you'd be thinking wrong in this case. I felt my face twist into a grimace as I realized I must be bleeding from at least both palms, if not my knees as well.

"C'mon, Kiddo. Let's get you inside &amp; get fixed up. Looks like that extra first aid kit I got when you called to say that you wanted to move in is going to be coming in handy much sooner than I'd hoped."

Dad grabbed by arm by the wrist &amp; elbow, being careful to avoid by bleeding palms to help me up off of my backpack. I must've looked like a high-centered truck sprawled on my backpack like that.

Dad was checking out my palms, "Got some gravel in there. When you do it, you really do it, huh Bells? Want me to help get the gravel out or do you want to go ahead &amp; get your chart established at Forks General? The nurses might be gentler than I am going to be getting those rocks out."

Do I want to go to the hospital? Hell no. Once the PE teacher stops letting me sit out, I'm sure I'll be in the ER often enough, and will probably be bringing them some extra business (depending on the sport I try to play &amp; how close people have to be when I try to play it).

"No, let's do this."

"Alright kiddo, you have a seat on the couch &amp; I'll be down with the supplies. Doctor Dad is on duty!" Charlie sang as he dropped my backpack &amp; headed for the upstairs bathroom. "Doctor Dad" is what I used to call Charlie when he'd have to fix the hundreds of 'boo-boos' I got each summer during our visits. Suppose all of the basic medical training Charlie has to keep up with for his job as the Chief of the Forks Police Department comes in handy at home, since nothing requiring any sort of action ever really happens here.

Charlie POV

"Alright kiddo, you have a seat on the couch &amp; I'll be down with the supplies. Doctor Dad is on duty!" I was simply unable to help the smile that the simple phrase brought forth. My little Bells may have grown up, but she'll always be the same klutzy kiddo who needed Doctor Dad to fix the bad boo-boos. A dad always likes to know he's needed, and my Bella needed me.

While digging out the first aid kit &amp; tweezers, I couldn't help but recall the day a few months ago when Bella called. As Bella was a Junior in high school, I'd basically resigned myself to the fact that she'd finish school, go to college &amp; then my next big role in her life would be walking her down the aisle; hopefully in that order. However, Renee had just remarried some kid who played baseball &amp; my sweet Bella was once again looking out for everyone but herself.

I knew exactly why she wanted to move in with me. Renee had wanderlust again and Bella felt like she was holding her mom back, putting her new marriage in jeopardy. I knew it would be easier for Bella to just finish out high school without moving, but having missed so many major milestones in her life already, I jumped at the chance to have her living with me. Was it selfish? Maybe. Was I going to do everything in my power be the dad I missed out on being? You bet your ass I was.

First aid kit &amp; tweezers in hand, I dropped my cargo on the coffee table on my way to the kitchen to grab some paper towels. Maybe ought to get some wet and dry paper towels. This was gonna be a bit messy. Poor kiddo.

As I settled on the coffee table across from Bella, I laid some paper towels on my lap to rest her hand on &amp; handed a few wet paper towels to her to hold in the hand I wasn't 'doctoring'. If I didn't know what the sight &amp; smell of blood did to her, I'd ask her to get started on the pebbles imbedded in that palm, but for now at least the cool rag would somewhat soothe her.

Concentrating on my "Doctor Dad" task, I decided now was as good a time as any to see how her first day at school went. Not going to get a much more captive audience than I have now. Having grown up here in Forks, I knew how the kids treated "fresh meat" back in my high school days. If Bella enjoyed the spotlight, she'd be in a much better mood than she is now. I'd bet my badge that she got too much attention &amp; felt embarrassed today. I'd also bet that she'd rather talk about it with anyone other than her dad. But like I said, I had missed out on a lot. Kinda sucks that the first day I actually get to see my baby girl come home from school she's already 17. Also kinda sucks that she decided to put half of the rocks from the front of the house into her hands. Only my Bells.

"So, how was the first day? Have fun being the FNG?"

"Effing G? Effing G?! Are you turning gangster on me now, Dad?"

I chuckled. "No, Bells, it's an acronym – F N G. Stands for Fuc…. Er, um, Fun New Gal."

"Uh huh. FUN New Gal, huh? Seriously Dad, you are the Chief of Police. Even in a small town like Forks, I'm sure you good ol' boys cuss down at the station. You should HEAR some of the stuff at school. Some of the stuff I say at school. Not gonna be dropping the "F-bomb" on you, but we're both grown ups here. You can swear."

"No, Isabella, I am a 'grown up' as you put it. Until you are old enough to vote or register for the draft, would you save us both some embarrassment &amp; at least pretend to watch your mouth in front of me?. I can try to do the same." I truly didn't care if she had a colorful vocabulary. Hell, if she aged chronologically for each thing she did for her mom over the years, she'd be older than me. One doesn't work in my line of work &amp; retain their virgin ears. I had heard a doozy or two in my day. Didn't mean I wanted to say those words &amp; phrases in front of my only baby girl.

Having distracted Bella from the blood long enough to quickly clean &amp; bandage both hands, I nudged her foot with my own. "Looks like those nice jeans are now really nice fishing jeans, huh? Wanna go change &amp; you can check to see if you need help cleaning those knees up, too. Then you can tell me about your first day. "

"School was fine, Dad."

"Fine, huh? Do you honestly think a man of my age doesn't know just how loaded a simple word like 'fine' can be? So, when we get back, we can talk about your first day while I distract you from smelling your own blood &amp; passing out. I don't wanna have to run to the cruiser for smelling salts again."

Bella huffed &amp; rolled her eyes, but trudged up the stairs anyway. I may not be drinking my coffee out of a "World's Best Dad" coffee mug, but I intended to do my level best to at least inspire my little girl to consider maybe buying one. I might have a lot of years to catch up on, but my baby girl is going to know that her daddy is always going to be her daddy &amp; always be there.

I've finally got a chance to get to know my daughter. I'd be damned if I was going to blow it. Bella had spent enough of her youth being the 'grown up' – the remainder of her time with me was going to be as worry free as possible. If that included her sucking it up &amp; accepting help to bandage her wounds, well, I would take what I could get. And if she decided to confide in me, then great. Bonus.

While Bella bumped around gracefully in her room, I decided to grab a few extra paper towels since I wasn't sure what the exact damage to her knees was. I DID know that the knees on her jeans were shot. Looking at the messy pile of paper towels, bandage wrappers &amp; scraps of gauze, I realized that my triage skills could be a bit tidier. Screw it; I could clean this mess in a few minutes, as soon as I've taken care of my girl. Wonder if she's too old for ice cream after this sort of thing? Always cheered her up when she was littler. Also always hear gals on TV talking about binging on Ben &amp; Jerry's when they get mad at guys, so there's got to be some sort of magic in ice cream, right? Maybe it's one of those gender linked traits or something. Ice cream never calmed me down.

Alice POV

"Funny how pleasant a car ride can be without our resident 'Debbie Downer' "Rosalie mused.

It was hard to disagree. Edward hadn't been happy with me lately. Who am I kidding; Edward hadn't been happy with anyone ever. Lately things just seemed a bit worse. I knew exactly what was bothering him and the problem was that he didn't. My all-knowing brother hated not knowing all. It was only due to his trust in my visions of the future &amp; their ability to protect our family that he even listened to me today at all.

Lately I'd been having visions of a girl who was, before today, completely unknown to me; visions that I'd been hiding from Edward. I knew that all of our futures rested in a very delicate balance right now &amp; that she was the key to whatever lie in store for us.

_*Flashback*_

Jasper &amp; I had just finished hunting and were headed back to our home on the banks of the Sol Duc River. The forests here in Washington were ideal for game of all sort &amp; Jasper &amp; I had just sated ourselves on a couple of large bull elk. Suddenly, the silence was broken by the ring tone that I loved to hate.

_"__Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk yea on the catwalk, yeah  
I shake my little tush on the catwalk  
I'm too sexy for my cat  
Too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love  
Too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me"_

"Hey Pete."

"Hey Shortly, how's it going? Pickin' squirrel fur out of your teeth?"

"No, bull elk was on tap today. So, did you call to discuss the finer intricacies of the taste of animal blood versus human or did you just call to fuck with me?"

"Well, I ALWAYS call to fuck with you, you know that Alice. But I did call to tell you that you and Major ought not head back to the casa just yet. My knowers tellin' me that somethin's gonna be flashin' through that pretty little head of yours &amp; it is somethin' that you might want kept private. Capiche?"

"Got it. Call me if your gift tells you anything else."

"It ain't a gift. And I'll be speaking to you Shortly, I'm sure."

"Hey- don't call me Shortly!"

_ *End Flashback*_

Since then, Peter &amp; I had worked out a system of sorts to give me a heads up so that I could get away from Edward. Any time his "knower" told him my vision would center around this lovely young brunette, he'd text me &amp; I'd find a way to get alone.

My visions showed me a wonderful girl who would change our family. She would be my best friend. If I didn't play things just right, Edward would soon profess his love for her, despite the obvious fact that she is his singer. Dumbass. Who would ever be mated to the one person that the fates had made it near impossible for them to NOT kill? Well, a masochist like Edward of course thinks he'd be the first in history. Idiot.

I knew that if Edward caught a whiff of Bella at school that we would have a potential crisis on our hands. He could very easily slaughter the entire classroom in his blood induced haze. He could kill her. Or a worse fate yet, he could fall in love with her and somehow convince her that she felt the same way.

So, this morning I set my plan into motion. I "had a vision" as we were all about to head towards the cars in the garage on our way to school. It's not too hard to get a spaced out look &amp; play a "best of" killing Bella film in my mind. These visions were enough to get him to agree to stay home. We all knew what a singer was. Emmett had run across his &amp; the poor woman never stood a chance. Edward agreed to stay home &amp; I agreed to use some mad ninja skills to get something with Bella's smell to desensitize Edward.

There were too many choices to be made &amp; too many paths that were not yet certain.

We pulled in to the garage &amp; all trooped into the house. It soon became obvious that Esme was the only one at home.

"Where is Edward?" Jasper asked. The slight flare of his nostrils &amp; widening of his stance warned me that he was slipping close to Major Mode. As I raised my hand to rest it on Jasper's shoulder as a sign of comfort, I was pulled violently into a vision. A vision I never wanted to see come to pass.

Without a backwards glance, I yelled the one thing I could before I let my own demon take over, "Swan house, NOW!"

**AN: **Well, there you have it. That's what I've got so far. Well, what I've got so far here... There MAY be other chapters somewhere out there...

Okay, I'll cut the shit - if you're interested, I have more chapters posted on betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com / My name over there is frggystyl... but since my real life name is Ellen... that's my name here.

So...


	2. Chapter 2

_**ET Note: ****  
**Just a short chapter… Needed to get Eddie's POV out there &amp; figure the next chapter will be longer. Also, this is unbeta'd all mistakes are mine. _

__Thanks to BetterInTexas (&amp; friends) who gave me the guts me to publish this here. :) __

____~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~_ _

_**Swans – Buy One Get One**_

**Chapter 2**

_**Edward POV**_

Fucking bitch. Alice didn't trust my control. MY control? She's the one that's mated to a monster. I'm not the one who must be reminded on a regular basis that "humans are friends, not food." Now thanks to my less than forthcoming sister, I am in the woods, trying to walk off some tension; tension that seem to be born of mistrust &amp; deceit.

Perhaps after so long of trying to keep their most private thoughts to themselves, my family had simply started to block me out? To be certain, I never ASKED for the ability to read minds. The vile and horrid that most people think are enough to harden even the softest heart. I just couldn't understand why Alice, of all people, would start to hide things from me. We've always been so close; no one else in the family understood the loneliness that our gifts brought upon us.

For some reason, Alice has become distant and secretive. At first I suspected it had to do with her relationship with Jasper, as he'd also been especially guarded. I simply assumed that there was trouble in paradise. However, Alice has been receiving text messages that have had her running out of my range. Of course, I'd considered following her, but she would see that decision &amp; I would still be in the dark. Jasper would certainly suspect her if she were cheating, his empathy would detect her deception.

It was for curiosity's sake alone that I agreed to miss school today. Apparently there would be a new student at school who I would supposedly be unable to resist. Her blood was supposed to call to me like none other. I'm certain she must be mistaken. With the exception of my rebellious period in which I killed those that were indeed fit to be my food, I've always had superior control.

Alice's plan was to "go ninja on her ass" (her words, not mine) and acquire something with her scent on it to desensitize me. According to her, I would either slaughter a classroom full of children to get to her blood (worst case) or possibly run like a bitch to Alaska to sulk (best case). Neither seemed like even a remote possibility.

She must be out of her mind. There was nothing, nothing at all that could ever allow me to jeopardize my family like that. Regardless of recent actions, I love them all and would be lost without them. I simply cannot imagine what could have…..

Fuck.

Fucking glorious.

That smell, what was that smell? My nose guided me with lightning precision to the source of the divine elixir. I burst through the door of a small, two story white house and zeroed in on the source of the scent. Sitting on an outdated brown couch was a middle aged mustached man. His brown eyes widened upon my approach. He started to stand as I pounced.

My teeth pierced the delicate skin of his neck as I threw him back onto the couch. I relished the pop of his skin &amp; vein as his life force began to enter my mouth. Oh, how I'd missed this. Animal blood had nothing on this.

But, this wasn't right. Better than I was used to, sure, but not what I craved. What I needed.

A gasp from the stairs caught my attention. Standing there was a beautiful young girl with mahogany hair &amp; the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen. I could care less about those details; I noticed them only because my vampire brain could process so much at once. We locked eyes for a mere second before she moved to attack, I'm sure. Silly human had a fierce, protective look in her eyes. However, my attack was much, much more effective.

I leapt to her position on the stairs &amp; grabbed her roughly by her shoulders. I took only a moment to savor her scent before I licked the side of her neck and bit.

Bliss, ecstasy, heaven. This is what I'd been reborn for. This is the sole reason I'd been turned into this soulless demon by my adopted father. My monster was at the forefront of my mind and for once I wondered why I'd ever caged it to begin with. The sweet ambrosia that was her blood was so all consuming that I didn't hear their thoughts. Maybe I did, but I was simply enraptured by the precious fluid cascading down my scorching throat to notice or care.

Before I could react, I felt two strong sets of hands pulling me from my prey. MINE. I would kill every one of these motherfuckers to get to what was my right. It seemed that no amount of struggle or fight would loosen their holds. I felt myself being dragged away from my prey and outside. Somehow, the entities attached to the strong sets of hands began to run with me into the forest. The smell of the fresh pines &amp; ferns slowly started to infiltrate my senses. Slowly, the smell of the girl's blood started to fade away the further they took me into the trees.

As the fog continued to clear, I noted that the hands holding me were attached to Jasper &amp; Emmett, my brothers. Brothers, right. Not once during any of Jaspers "slips" have I EVER interrupted his meal. Isn't there some sort of meal etiquette about that kind of thing? That's what the girl was my ultimate meal.

"Dude, Bro. What the fuck just happened back there?" Emmett bellowed.

"I don't know. I just don't know" I replied, doing my level best to feel remorseful. With Jasper, these things can be much trickier to do thanks to his empathy.

Emmett shook his head as a near silent 'fuck' escaped his lips.

"You know you just killed the chief of police &amp; his daughter, right, Eddie? Do you realize what fuck up of epic proportions this is? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that will have the Volturi breathing down our necks. This type of 'damage control' will difficult to pull off without causing suspicion to fall on our family. Why the FUCK couldn't you just stay home? Has Alice EVER asked you to do anything that didn't warrant listening to?" Jasper's raging rant ended with the destruction of a few trees in our vicinity.

"You are of course right, Jasper. I'm certain that I don't know what could have come over me. I cannot believe that I've let myself show the soulless demon that I really am. How could I do that to such innocent, good people? I know what kind of man Chief Swan is. His daughter looked the perfect image of a very nice girl. I have wreaked havoc on an untold number of people with my actions today. There can be no repentance for a monster such as myself," I cried. Oh, how this sincerity &amp; feeling of remorsefulness was hard to maintain. I could only hope that Jasper bought my emotional façade.

She was meant for me, and I would have her. I would kill anyone who kept me from her.

**_ET Note: _**

So, that's Crazy Eddie. Nuttier than a squirrel with three testicles. At least that's what I was going for.

Again, more chapters are available at www dot betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com (I have up to chapter 4 posted there &amp; hope to have 5 up today - have 6 out for a good ol' pre-read &amp; chapter 7 is percolating in my grey matter).


	3. Chapter 3

**~*****~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~**

_**ET Note: Again, not beta'd any &amp; all mistakes are mine, despite my reading it probably 19 times…**_

On with the show…

**Chapter 3**

_**Alice POV**_

That son of a bitch. I'm going to kill that messy haired motherfucker as soon as I get my hands around his sparkling neck. What was he even doing here? I'd warned him away from her, at least until I could help him to get used to her scent. Guess I bumped into her complimented her lovely hair &amp; "accidentally" plucked a few out for no good reason. And I'd so wanted to make a better first impression than that of a klutz. It's hard to keep up that charade with our natural vampire grace. Okay, maybe not hard, but irritating.

_Breathe, Alice… take a nice deep breath._

Nope. Wrong idea. So NOT the time for deep cleansing breaths… we were in the room with 2 bleeding, changing humans.

_Concentrate, Alice. You know this is important. Power through. You've conquered Black Friday at Barney's, you can do this._

"Carlisle, tell me what to do." I urged. Both Chief Swan &amp; Bella were beginning to groan loudly. The Chief's eyes were fixed on his daughter on the stairs; she appeared to be knocked out cold. I could see a dent in the wall where her head must've hit when that ass-hat attacked. The shoulders of her shirt were torn where it was obvious his fingernails had pierced her alabaster skin. Despite her unconscious state, it was plain to see that the venom was affecting her. Chief Swan's groans started to turn into somewhat coherent words; or, rather, word, 'Bella.' It quickly became a worried, pain filled chant on his mustached lips.

"We can't leave them here. Esme, please grab the girl &amp; Alice, Chief Swan. Take them to our house, Rosalie, begin to prepare a vehicle. They can't stay here for obvious reasons. It looks like I've got the unfortunate task of playing cleanup crew," Carlisle said, somewhat defeated. His usual proud posture was gone, replaced by that of a world weary man. Only mere moments into this fiasco &amp; we all know one thing for certain: everything is about to change. And when I say change, I know it will be monumental.

I gave a quick nod to Carlisle &amp; turned towards Chief Swan. I'd seen him in passing around town. In a town of this size, everyone sees the Chief out and about, even supposed 'recluses' like my family &amp; I. He was an attractive man, anyone could see that. His mustache was a bit off putting; reminiscent of a '70's porn star, but the looks were there. I bent to gather him in my arms and froze.

_*Vision*_

I gazed into the forest, waiting for my love, my true mate to emerge. I knew he'd been off for some "boys' time"; he needed it. They all did. But he was coming home, almost here. I could feel him. The pain in my chest was quickly diminishing. He burst through the trees and bound over the yard, gracefully landing directly in front of me. His hands (oh how I'd missed those hands) reached up as he gently cupped my cheeks &amp; gave me a tender kiss, his mustache tickling my lips. I wrapped my arms around his muscular frame &amp; sighed. This was home. He was my home.

"I missed you, Charlie."

_*End Vision*_

Huh. Well, that was certainly interesting. I didn't see that coming… and that is a first for me! Though the ability to see the future can often be burdensome, and it is not infallible, there are times when it has its perks. Stock markets, fantastic sales, keeping the family safe, finding my mate, and even better, knowing that he's my mate so that I can shave off that hideous mustache while he's changing.

He'll be initially mad. But he'll thank me later.

_**Jasper POV**_

This lyin' sack of horse shit. This douchebag is so fuckin' crooked that if he swallowed a nail this fucker'd shit a screw. His deceit was oozing off of him; it permeated the air like the foulest stench. I could almost feel it on my skin it was so fuckin' thick. I supposed he was not aware that true emotions are impossible to hide from me. My gift, unlike his, doesn't have an easy work around. All I have to do is imagine something that he finds 'distasteful' &amp; he's outta there. Good Ol' Eddie is about to get a vivid play by play of what I'd like to do to his worthless ass right now.

Emmett was pissed; beyond that, even. I don't know that I'd ever seen him in this emotional state in the sixty some odd years I'd known him. Emmett's rage only fueled my own.

"Emmett, we WILL deal with this sorry ass motherfucker later. I assure you. I'm furious, too, but I NEED you to calm down. I'm fixin' to go Major Mode &amp; I'd really like to avoid that, if possible."

"Right, cooler heads prevail or some such shit. I'm good, Bro. Just going to my happy place; I'm all Zen &amp; shit now. "

"Good, this prude fucker always hates your friskier thoughts about Rose."

Emmett leered at Edward. "Oh, I've got a new happy place now, don't I, brother?" Edward visibly cringed. Guess great minds really do think alike. Maybe Emmett &amp; I could swap ideas later. I'm sure I have more experience in this area, but Emmett is a surprisingly inventive fucker.

I smiled sadistically at Edward and changed my grip. My hand now clasped him by the neck, fingernails piercing his marble skin due to the force of my grasp. I had him incapacitated enough, stupid fucker knew better than to run now. He may be fast, but not as fast as the fury that enveloped mine &amp; my brother's mind. He knew he wouldn't make it two steps before he was nothing more than a bad memory &amp; a pile of ashes.

I felt four chaotic emotional signatures running upwind of us; two were the frantic &amp; worried feeling of Esme &amp; Alice, two were those of two people in the burn of the change. And one odd emotional cocktail, one that was completely out of place for this situation, love, devotion, and… completeness? Oh, it's Alice. Strange. Perhaps she's finally found her true mate. I can only hope it's the girl. Oh, imagine…

_Focus, fucker. Quit thinkin' with your dick. Maiming &amp; killing Eddie, maiming &amp; killing Eddie… maiming &amp; killing…_

I gave my head a minute shift as if to dislodge those titillating thoughts, but it too late, Edward had caught my slip.

"Oh, of all the vile, disgusting things, Jasper; you imagine your mate with her, the girl whose life I've ended?"

"Couple of things, brother, one, don't like it, don't look; b, that would actually be pretty hot; three, both were alive when we left, idiot; and four, didn't your mother ever teach you that it's impolite to eavesdrop? I think that mind raping is a bit worse than eavesdropping, Fuckface," Emmett growled &amp; then glanced hopefully at me. "That would be so fucking hot. Wonder if Rosie…"

"Emmett, quit thinkin' with your dick!" Okay, so I wanted to say it to someone else. Didn't want to feel like the Lone Pervert or anything; not cool, Kemosabe.

"Cool then, let's think with our fists. I see a future dead brother here."

"NO!" Edward screamed. "If I disappear when the Swans do, it will implicate me and by association, the entire family. Let's figure this out. You know how sorry I am. Let's go home &amp; I'll finish them off as penance. I will bear their deaths on my soul, I deserve it. We'll figure this out as a family, like we've always done. Like we've done after the many times you have both slipped, brothers."

Damnit. I hate it when this slick fucker is right. While the majority of what he just spewed was pure-de-ol' cowshit, he did have one point. His disappearing would draw attention to our family as a whole. Only right or logical thing he's said or done since he decided against Alice's advice to stay at home today. As for the rest of his stupid statement, "'Finish them off'? Didn't get enough, Edward? You think that YOU get to decide their fate? No. Despite what you may think, you are not the head of this coven. Those poor souls are changing now. We have shit to get figured out and you ain't fit to figure nothin'. You do get a bit of penance, though."

I looked Emmett in the eye. "Wanna pretend it's Thanksgiving &amp; good ol' Eddie is our very own wishbone?"

"Hell to the yes" Emmett hollered.

"Grab an arm &amp; a leg &amp; pull. Whoever gets the body on their side, wins. Deal?"

"Deal." Emmett &amp; I simultaneously reached for an arm &amp; leg on opposite sides of Edward and began to figure out who got the wish.

Once he was in pieces, it took nothing to send Edward the feeling that his victims were feeling. It's not as if it were a foreign feeling to me. It was that feeling that haunted me.

This sorry sack was lucky that I loved my family so dearly. For now, Edward would stay alive, but his days were numbered. As soon as I could cull this fucker, I'd do it. This fucker is about to give up his guitar for a harp, but more likely he would be issued a set of horns.

_**Carlisle POV**_

What a waste. We'd built a good life here in Forks. We all knew that it wouldn't last forever, but we'd at least hoped for a few more years.

Edward, my oldest companion, my son in almost every sense of the word, what have you done? Esme &amp; I had welcomed him with open arms when he returned from what he deemed his "rebellious period," the time when he left us &amp; our lifestyle behind to drink human blood. Yes, his actions hurt me, but I was willing to overlook it because of the depth of my love for him. This, however, was an entirely different issue.

While in the past he did take human lives, he killed in a manner that didn't connect him to our family… The family that I'd taken responsibility for years ago &amp; vowed to protect with my very life. In a small town like Forks, the disappearance or death of the beloved Chief of Police &amp; his recently returned daughter would be a catastrophe. If anyone were to leave town at that time, they would automatically become the prime suspect.

Thus, my quandary. Edward's actions would be punished. If I had to light the match myself, I could not let this go unpunished. While my love for Edward was great, I could not place the lives of the rest of my family in jeopardy for him or his reckless actions.

With no time to dwell on what was surely one of the biggest and most tumultuous decisions of my very long life, I began the abhorrent task ahead. A gas explosion would be the best cover up. A gas explosion would require bodies. It looked like a trip to Seattle was in order. The King County Medical Examiner's Office was far more likely to have bodies that would resemble the Swans and the bodies there would be easier to misplace than any location on the Olympic Peninsula. I would just have to try to get unclaimed bodies so that I wouldn't indirectly cause another family additional grief.

Why couldn't Edward have heeded Alice's warning this morning? She'd seen that the Swan girl would be his singer. She'd even offered to obtain something with her scent to desensitize him. His arrogance, while always an annoyance, was finally going to cost. The unfortunate thing was it wasn't going to just cost him. It'd already cost the Swans their mortal lives, the change had started before Esme &amp; Alice had removed them from their home. It was going to ultimately rob our family of our life in Forks. And last, but certainly not least, his arrogance had finally cost him his life; he just didn't know it yet.

As running would be the fastest way to get there, I began to head east &amp; also began to pray that I'd be able to protect my family, even if the cost seemed extremely high.

_**Alice POV**_

"Carlisle, you will find suitable bodies. Yesterday two transients were brought in separately, one a young woman of slight build &amp; the man, also transient. We have arrived home and Rose is preparing Emmett's jeep as it has the most room. It won't be comfortable, but Charlie &amp; Bella won't notice. Also, before you blow up the joint, I do have a favor to ask."

"What is it, Alice? If it's feasible and reasonable, I'll do it. Time is of the essence, as you are aware."

"Of course, Carlisle. I just wanted you to grab a few key items for Charlie &amp; Bella for when they wake up. This situation will be difficult enough and I know that having something to hold on from their home will help."

"Certainly. You are right, of course. I will be happy to grab a few things, what do you suggest?"

I quickly gave Carlisle a small list for both Charlie &amp; Bella &amp; hung up the phone. I couldn't wait to look through Bella's baby pictures with Charlie. Too bad I never got to see her embarrassed as a human. Wonder if that sort of thing would have made her blush?

Bella's shrill scream brought me out of my thoughts. Happy times may be ahead, but for now, two people that are going to be the center of my world are in pain. Charlie isn't constantly screaming Bella's name anymore, he is mostly unable to form words. Once in a while though, he still calls out for her. The level of his devotion to her is blatantly obvious. Hopefully one day I will be that high in his esteem. I'd never be jealous of their bond, that would only alienate Charlie. I'd never want to do anything to come between them anyway. I knew they both had room enough in their hearts for me.

Jasper &amp; Emmett ran into the living room &amp; Emmett dropped Edward, or rather, Edward &amp; his left arm &amp; left leg, on the floor. Edward was screaming in pain &amp; his screams were near identical to those of Bella &amp; my mate. I hoped Jazz had given him a good cocktail. Fucker. If his pain were only from the loss of his limbs, he'd at least be a bit more coherent. I knew Jasper was giving him a taste of his own medicine.

"Damnit! Now I'm not gonna get my wish! Only a wish would get Rosie into that situation with me having my dick attached &amp; intact."

"What on earth are you two talking about?" Esme asked, clearly exasperated.

"Oh, well, Jasper won the wish bone, so now he gets his wish &amp; I don't get mine. And mine was a good one, too. Really, really good."

"Wish b… Oh – Edward. Right. Well, he's lucky that you boys got to deal with him initially. I would have gone straight to the lighter," Esme casually commented. Her casual tone belied her tense manner. She was poised &amp; ready to strike. Now, just to wait for Carlisle, Edward didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon.

"Jazz. You will be taking them. You've got a scheduled absence from school coming up for your trip back east." Though it hurt to say, I knew that I couldn't leave with Charlie. I'd have to wait until I could leave without suspicion, but I wouldn't be able to wait long. I wouldn't HAVE to wait long. I suddenly remembered the Christmas gift I got last year from Peter &amp; Charlotte. While I figured they were being their normal jokester selves at the time, I didn't know how handy their gifts would come in handy. Jasper received an all-inclusive trip to Lexington for a Civil War Re-enactment. He was due to leave in two days. My gift was a trip to New York, due to leave in a month. At the time, I'd wondered why they decided to send me when it wasn't Fashion Week. Looks like Peter's 'knower' was 'knowing' again. In the interest of being proactive, Esme had already contacted the schools about our upcoming absences.

"Will the two of you be alright? Won't the distance hurt the mating bond?" Esme queried.

I gave Jasper a look &amp; he gave me a slight nod. It looked like it was time for the cat to come out of the bag. "Jasper &amp; I are not true mates. We've been lovers &amp; best friends, but we both knew it wasn't forever." I wouldn't, couldn't tell anyone about my vision. If they knew, they'd send me with Jasper when he left with the Swans &amp; our family would still be at risk. It was only due to my vision that I was certain of my future with Charlie. He didn't know we were mates yet &amp; our separation wouldn't be traumatic for him like it would be for me. Jasper gave me a knowing glance. He knew. He could feel how I felt about Charlie. He felt my dread of living without him, no matter how short a time. And like a good friend, a best friend, he didn't betray my confidence. He knew it was best for the family that I stay behind.

"I have a trip to 'New York' that's been cleared with school as a predetermined, scheduled absence. We'll stick to the plan &amp; we will all be together as we should be before long."

Though they seemed a bit shell shocked, Esme, Rose &amp; Emmett all nodded. At this point, there wasn't much to say. We were in a holding pattern until Carlisle got home. Edward's life was forfeit, and by the looks I saw on Carlisle's face, the possibility of him taking care of my former brother was quite great.

Jasper ran up the stairs to pack. I knew he wouldn't pack any of his current wardrobe. Over the years, Jasper had acquired two duffle bags of "Texas approved" clothing. Apparently, if he were to dress in Texas as I normally had him dressed, he'd 'get his ass handed to him.' As if. He would take down any and all challengers. His male ego just couldn't take the hit. The way he said it, he'd have his "Texas Man Card" taken away, which he said was even better than a 'regular man card' (tho he claimed to carry both, just in case) if he were to think about crossing the Red River onto the hollowed grounds of Texas.

Of course, the likelihood of them heading to Texas was slim to none. Considering the trees I saw Charlie emerge from, I'd guess Canada. The house close to Tahsis would be ideal. Remote &amp; quiet, the town's population of less than 600 would give us privacy &amp; a remote location without being so small that our appearance in town wouldn't cause too much of a stir.

With the barest bones of a plan in place, I grabbed Charlie &amp; turned towards the stairs.

"Um, Alice, where are you going?" Rose questioned.

Never was I so glad for Peter's twisted sense of humor. Thank god for the shaving cream &amp; razor he'd sent me for mine &amp; Jasper's anniversary. It wouldn't be "taking care of the bearded clam" as he advised with his ever so kind anniversary card, but it would be helping out my future sex life.

"Upstairs. Chief Swan is turning immortal. I doubt he'll want to wake up looking like a porno reject. I'm going to go shave him."

**Additional ET Note:** Well, there it is. Chapter 3. Some of the basics of the story are hopefully laid out now. Hope no one is disturbed by character death. 'Cause The 'Stache isn't going to make it past chapter 4. Besides, Charlie will be so much more handsome without it. Plus, I plan on writing some lemons for him &amp; Charlie with a mustache reminds me of my dad (he grows one every Movember). And since anything related to my dad in regards to sex is as much of a turn on as an ice cold shower with Bea Arthur &amp; George Burns, I like to picture my Charlie closer to how Billy Burke looked in 'Revolution' – Maybe even with that sword. :^) (hubba hubba)

_On a personal note- _while I was writing this, my son decided to decorate his hair &amp; face with toothpaste. It was only a travel size &amp; I was able to tell that he'd only eaten a minimal amount (if any) due to the shit ton of tooth paste on his hair, face &amp; my couch. Don't know why tubes of toothpaste fascinate the boy, but this isn't his first dog &amp; pony show… I swear he could find a tube of toothpaste in a hoarder's house. And once he found it, he'd squeeze it everywhere. Believe me, I know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the screwed up post earlier... dunno how that happened. Hope this one is better! ****~ ET**

_~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~_

_ET Note: Huge thanks to BetterInTexas for being the bestest pre-reader, like, ever; Huge thanks to my 2 bad-ass betas, Teresa Segrest &amp; MrsAlderaan - you both rock my socks; Huge thanks to Mist... I look at that banner WAY too much. Like, WAY too much. ;)_

_Oh... and HUGE thanks to you if you're reading this. 'Cause what is writing without readers? _

_On with the show…_

**Chapter 4**

**Jasper POV**

Edward still writhed in pain, in pieces, on the ground. His screams of agony were music to my ears; and that music was right up there with Skynard's performance at the Ozark Music Festival in '74. The Swans, now that was a different story all together. Their cries wrenched at my soul, especially hers. Sad enough the chief had this fate, but even worse that this slip of a girl who hadn't yet really lived, was destined to the same fate as her father.

Suddenly, the very unexpected sound of Emmett's loud guffaw caught the entire room completely off guard.

"Shave Charlie, eh? What part of Charlie are you planning on shaving, little sis?" Emmett grinned slyly at Alice, before slowly turning to me, a confused look on his previously gleeful face. "Er, um, J, are you, um… how is it that you aren't totally tearing shit up right now, Bro? I mean, it'd be one thing if my Rosie wanted to shave another girl, but a dude…"

I held my hand up, halting Emmett's confused query. "Emmett, I think I know which part of Charlie Alice was referring to. Besides, we just got done tellin' ya'll, I love her, always will, but this separation for us is only gonna work because we're not true mates. Now, that said, I'd probably prefer Alice not go pecker huntin' today. For one, I hear tell peckers ain't in season for a spell and for another thing, I doubt Alice has her pecker tags yet, anyway. Doubt we'll be cock blocking each other, but I'd prefer to think she wouldn't jump a changing, vulnerable man. It's one thing to take him to a barber shop, it's another to do some damned 'manscaping' on him. That type of shit needs to stay in the beauty parlor."

I shuddered, recalling some of Alice's futile efforts in the 1990's to get me to shave 'designs' into what little body hair I have. Don't know how it would've turned out, 'cause I'm fast and I don't sleep, so she never got the drop on me.

"I'll head up and take over with a quick rinse and change of clothes when you're done playing barber, Allie Gal. Emmett, grab some clothes for the chief. He's already a bit thicker around the middle than I am and I'm sure the change is only going to enhance his muscle structure. We just don't know how much yet. Esme, Rose, could ya'll take care of Bella?"

Rose nodded, having just come in the garage from preparing the jeep for our imminent departure. On her way to the couch to help Esme, my favorite sister 'accidentally' tripped on Edward. It was the damnedest thing. Her foot 'somehow' came forward with a bit too much force and she connected with his blood streaked cheek, cracking his marble skin instantly. Good thing for those vampire reflexes; she might have face-planted.

Esme scooped Bella up effortlessly, if a bit awkwardly due to the locked knees and thrashing arms of the changing girl. Seeing that Esme had the girl, Rose headed back towards the stairs. This time she 'tripped' on the back of Ed's head. His face jerked forward and the crack of his chin on his chest was audible. Apparently, Rose's haste was causing a temporary klutziness.

"Emmett, I'm gonna pull the whammy from our dear brother and see if I can't give these two a time out from some of the pain. Figure this could be a good time for a little one on one for you and Eddie. Brotherly bonding time and shit like that." Emmett rolled his shoulders and looked at Edward after a quick but thankful nod in my direction.

I followed the masculine sounds of the chief's anguished cries to the bathroom that Alice &amp; I shared to find him lying on the floor, Alice leaned close to his ear, whispering while gently cupping his cheeks. I paused and took a moment to hang on to the only positive emotions in the entire house, the emotions of my friend, companion and now, former lover as she urged her new and eternal love to remember. Remember everything. Having retained absolutely no memories of her human life through the burn of the change, memories were a very sensitive subject to her. She was already protecting her mate, even from emotional pain.

After a brief kiss to each eyelid and a lingering kiss to his forehead, Alice turned to me. "I'm going to let his head go. Get into a good position and hold him still. I'll go get the supplies. I'd rather do this without any more bloodshed. I know he would heal, but the thought of…"

Quickly, I interrupted, "I know, Allie Gal. I know."

I couldn't imagine the torture Alice was going to endure until she was able to join us. I'd known that she found her mate; I'd been able to tell from the moment I felt her run past 'Operation Wish Bone.' Would have been nice to have more of a heads up, though. If she'd known, she could have avoided touching him and would have made the separation a bit easier.

"Alice, I'm sure there's a joke here about how many vampires it takes to shave a thrashing newborn, but since I don't know the punchline, I'm not sure how to play this. I can immobilize his body, but his mouth is another story." Suddenly, an epiphany. "Hey… what about that old ball gag…"

"Jasper Allan Whitlock Hale! I will not put that in my… my… in Charlie's mouth!" Alice stuttered indignantly.

"Al, we only used it a few times…" I tried to mention with a casual air. Not really the moment for that kind of sentiment, apparently. The death glare that was aimed in my direction made me immensely glad that her mate was between us and leaned back against my chest, allowing me to trap his arms and legs with my own. Since I was more bound up than a granny outta prune juice, holding his mouth closed wasn't an option.

Alice glared at me a moment more before rushing out the door and down two flights of stairs into the basement. I could hear her rummaging in the storage area, muttering a bit and then squeaking 'eureka' before bounding back up both flights of stairs and back into the room. Before I completely registered what she was doing, Alice had shoved a yellow tennis ball into Charlie's mouth, stilling his jaws.

Pushing back Charlie's head towards mine with her right hand, Alice effectively trapped his head between her hand, my head and the wall behind me. Using dexterity only seen in vampires, she proceeded to lather the chief's face with her left hand. Perhaps she was a barber in her human life?

"Good bye, Charlie, Jr. You've had a good run, but your time has come. Charlie will miss you, but ultimately I _know_ he'll understand why you had to go." Alice mockingly lowered her head in a moment of silence and then started to shave his upper lip.

I was unable stop the chuckle from escaping my lips. Only my family, my brother Peter included, could make me smile in a situation like this. This was a cluster fuck if ever I saw one, and yet I still found my spirits lifted, if only for a moment. I felt the brief moment of amusement that emitted from my family in the house. This sort of moment, however fleeting, would be my rock in this ordeal. We were headed for some serious shit and any brief moments of levity would be nice, 'cause it felt like my emotions done got rode hard and put away wet.

I could hear the sounds of Esme and Rose bathing Bella, kindly urging her to 'remember' as well. Unfortunately, there was little that we actually knew about the Swan's lives. We knew that they had each other, so that's what the ladies told them; the ladies were all doing a fine job of coaching our newest family members through their change. Of course nothing would ever distract fully from that level of pain. As for me, trying to help the pain of two changing vampires was really taking its toll.

"Done. Oh, better than I even imagined. Give him a quick rinse, Jazz. I'll go check on Bella," Alice said, placing a gentle, quick kiss on the top of the chief's head.

After I quickly filled the bath tub and gave the chief a quick cleansing, my phone began to ring. Poor fella was writhin' all around in his birthday suit. I felt for him, I really did. If Alice wasn't pecker huntin', then, I sure as shit wasn't. Didn't need to see that shit.

"What?" I growled, my patience fading by the second.

"Well, nice to hear your voice too, fuck face. Maybe me and the missus won't be seein' you in a bit after all." My brother, Peter; should've been expecting a call from the know-it-all bastard.

"Pete. You don't know how good it is to hear your voice right now. Say, you and your lovely bride wouldn't want to, oh, I don't know - raise a couple of newborns with me for a while, would ya? Good ol' Fuckward decided to have a fuck up beyond major proportions and seems like we're up shit creek without a paddle."

"Oh, well, then as luck would have it, you owe me one, brother. I'm just down the road a spell, Char's behind me. We just bought a Durango and an Explorer. We decided - what the hell - let's have a race, Mopar vs. Ford kinda thing. We done checked out your place over yonder in Tahsis, too. Thing is wrecked. Damned blue spruce fell through the roof, lots of water damage and even a few critters. Even though you might enjoy the takeout, figured sweat equity wasn't on the docket for your babies. So, we reckon ya'll could come see mine and the missus's new place on Jervis Inlet. Plenty of space and plenty of squirrel huntin' for your young'uns."

Ah, what would I do without this know it all motherfucker? Peter and Charlotte had been my saviors from the Southern Vampire Wars and had been my saving grace and safe harbor in many other ways throughout the course of my existence. Peter, my brother in venom, claimed to not have a gift, but somehow the fucker got sure-fire information from somewhere between his ears and that shit had never failed; looks like he just came through in a pinch again.

"Pete, thanks. You don't know how much this means…"

Peter interrupted, "No, Major, it's you that don't know how much help me and Char are gonna be. Ya'll will be more than happy to have us around. Got yourself a couple of hellions there. Gonna be fun." I heard his chuckle as he disconnected the call.

I quickly dressed the chief in clothes Emmett left and carried him down the stairs just as Rose carried the girl down. The sound of Pete and Char's new vehicles coming down the drive was a welcome one. We quickly loaded The Swans into separate vehicles - the Chief in the Durango with me and the girl with Pete and Char in the Explorer - and hit the 101 heading towards Seattle. While taking a ferry would be the quickest option, the screams from our vehicles would cause too much of a ruckus. So even though our time on the road would be longer, at least we would be more low profile.

Now, we drive. Drive and wait.

**ET Note:**

**I always have at least one extra chapter available at betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com (you know the drill - remove spaces &amp; replace "dot" with a "."). As the site's founder, Jason, was my push to finally put my writing out there, I'll always post there first (by a few days, at least). I'm loyal &amp; crap like that. Chapter 6 is going to be posted there as soon as my wonderful betas are done with it &amp; I combine their edits to put it out for public consumption. I'm hoping to work on (if not finish) chapter 7 today... and I already have chapter 8 (maybe it'll be chapter 9, we'll see) done (don't ask). **

**Plus... if you DO come and check out betterintexasfiction, then you can check out the other kick-ass authors over there (some of 'em you're familiar with already, I'm sure!). If you're not familiar with the work of betterintexas here in FF, you're missing out. His stuff is pretty rad &amp; his writing kinda inspires mine, so if you like my stories, his are WAY better. Plus he's got, like, way more than I do (and some kick ass original work available on his site). **

**Okay... I only have a tiny bit of time to write before football begins... GO SEAHAWKS. **

**~Happy Sunday~**

**~ET**


	5. Chapter 5

_**~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~**_

_ET Note: Huge thanks to BetterInTexas for being the bestest pre-reader, like, ever; Huge thanks to my 2 bad-ass betas, Teresa Segrest &amp; MrsAlderaan - you both rock my socks; Huge thanks to Mist... I look at that banner WAY too much. Like, WAY too much. ) MooN - your banner is booberific. (*)(*) BBA!_

_Oh... and HUGE thanks to you if you're reading this. 'Cause what is writing without readers? _

_On with the show…_

_**See additional note at the end of this story... **_

**Chapter 5**

**Bella POV**

_Damnit! This fucking hurts! First, my dad gets attacked all zombie-like and the next thing I know, I'm on fucking fire. Is this hell? I mean, I know I'm sno saint, but never thought that I was headed for fire and brimstone and shit like that._ _Finally, I can think around the pain. My fingers and toes are no longer burning, so they must finally be beyond the charcoal stage; but now the fire in my chest is somehow getting way fucking worse. Huh. I didn't know that there was even a pain level beyond the shit I've already experienced. I'm all kinds of wrong today. Figures._

The fire was slowly receding from the remainder of my body and seemed to build in my chest. The accumulation accelerated until there was a pinpoint of indescribable pain in my heart and, then, suddenly, everything stopped. No pain, no sound, but the smells! My God. Oh, I could taste every single scent on my tongue. My eyes shot open before I realized what was happening. I was sitting up on a very comfortable bed.

"What the holy fried fuck just happened to me?" I growled. "What the hell? Did I just fucking growl?"

I heard a chuckle in an adjoining room. _Glad to be of amusement, ass hat._

"It's okay, sugar. You're safe." At the foot of my bed, a petite blonde woman stood with her hands out, eyes down and her posture indicating a submissive nature. Despite that, her skin screamed danger as it was covered in marks that I somehow instinctively knew to be scars; many, many bite scars. Even in my somewhat short, sheltered life, I knew that scars normally belonged on bad asses. Even bad asses called people 'sugar', right?

My panic escalated as I took in the unfamiliar surroundings. A growl worked its way up from my chest and out of my mouth. Again, what the fuck? Since when do I growl? This shit is getting old really fast. "Where's my dad?!" I yelled, my voice an altered, more beautiful version of the voice I'd come to know over the past 17 years.

_Seriously, again, what the fuck? Is this some sort of new rabies or something? _

"Bells?" I heard my dad, whose voice was also different, but still recognizable enough.

Despite my panic, I catalogued things very quickly. For instance, I knew that his voice was coming from the room adjacent to the one I was in and that he stood approximately 23 feet from my position on the bed, however his position seemed higher than his normal height. I simultaneously noted the décor in my current room was nice enough, but at the moment that was a trivial detail; my eyes were looking for the quickest way to get to my daddy. He could shoot these motherfuckers and get us the hell out of here. My options to get to dad seemed to be limited. The door behind the blonde bad ass appeared to lead to a hallway, while the door to my left appeared to be a bathroom. Too bad I couldn't just go through the wall. If Blondie wasn't so scary looking, I would just try to go through her.

"Dad?" I called. Damnit, I growled again. I was getting more scared, panicked, and angry with each passing second. This shit was so not cool.

"Alright, ya'll, calm down, you're fine. We're gonna explain a few things to you." An unfamiliar voice sounded from the next room, approximately 7 feet away from my dad. How the hell could I even know that? And how could I see so well? Things looked and sounded far too vivid.

_Smells should not have a taste! I shouldn't be able to shred bed linens with my hands like this! I just want to get to my dad and get home. _

"Bells, remember Plan 2B?" Dad asked through the wall.

Two B? Wasn't it enough that I remembered HIM?! After that kind of pain, don't people normally have to go to the nut house, or, I don't know… die?

"Dad, what are you talking about?" I cried. I felt a bit calmer for some odd reason. I had no reason to be calm, so I forced the feeling away. _Ain't nobody got time for that_.

"What the…" the unfamiliar voice sounded again. For some reason, the 'voice' sounded baffled. I wonder what Dad did in there to confuse him?

"Fire escape plan 2B, Isabella. Did you ever even pay attention to any of my contingency drills?" Dad bellowed. Suddenly, I heard glass breaking and my window shattered. Less than a second later, a familiar head of brown hair was poking into the hole where the glass used to be.

"Dad!" He suddenly leapt through the window and grabbed me into his arms and jumped back out the window. I screamed, expecting us to fall or bleed or something. We didn't. Dad was running faster than Forrest Gump, for Charlie truly ran like the wind blows. He ran incredibly fast, and the fact that he was cradling me to his chest like a baby didn't seem to hinder him in the slightest. We heard footsteps behind us, which seemed to compel Dad to go faster yet. The trees thinned and we were on a cliff overlooking a large body of saltwater. Well, Dad stood. I clung to him like a bad rash. The smell of the water was far less appealing than it was before I burned and woke up with these super spidey senses. Before I could process what he was doing, Dad's feet left the ground in a fantastic leap… a leap that landed us far out into the water with a spectacular splash. In my panic, I pulled a super dumb ass move and started to scream under the water. When I didn't feel the burn of water in my lungs, I stopped short and looked back at my dad.

Dad slowly let me go and continued to tread water below the surface; he indicated that I should do the same. When I complied, Dad tried to communicate with a complicated series of hand signals that I'd seen people use in movies. Huh. Didn't know cops did that kind of stuff in real life. Regardless, I didn't speak cop sign language. I furrowed my brows in frustration and, then, dad then rolled his eyes and made an exaggerated show of swinging his arms about and pointing to the West and down. Okay, jeez. Swim. I get it. Stay low, got it. Dad took off like a shot and I was flabbergasted to find that I was able to follow him with ease. How was I, a lifelong, card carrying, klutz supreme able to swim better than that Phelps guy? I mean, I wasn't even coming up for air and I doubted that a nuclear sub would be able to keep up with the speed dad and I were setting.

After we changed directions multiple times and swam far longer than I cared to admit (2 hours, 13 minutes and 2.76 seconds – seriously how did I even KNOW this shit?), Charlie started swimming East. I could tell that we were nearing a shoreline, but which one, I wasn't sure. Dad turned to me and motioned for me to stay low while he peeked above the water to check things out. He used hand to signal that I follow and turned quickly towards the shore. Before long we were both walking on the rocky beach.

"Bells, 'What the holy fried fuck'? Where do you come up with this shit?" Dad laughed.

"Seriously, Dad?! That's what you focused on? Not, oh, what the fuck happened to us? Who tried to munch your face off? Does Forks have a zombie problem? And, most importantly, what the fuck ARE we now? You can't tell me a human could do the shit we just did. And what…"

"Isabella Marie!" Dad bellowed. "You need to calm the fuck down. Don't lose it, sweetheart. I'm trying to think here."

The wind shifted, blowing into my face and bringing with it a mouthwatering smell. The fire that had been burning in my throat roared to life and I took off in the direction of the aroma. To my delight, running seemed as easy for me as it did for Dad. A dull thump-thump sounded in my ears as I zeroed in on the tantalizing scent. I leapt and pounced on the object of my sudden frenzy, biting down and beginning to drink. I pulled and pulled on the source of the ambrosia until it ran dry.

As I came to my senses, I looked down and realized that I held in my puny little arms the neck of a very large, very dead grizzly bear. The bear's neck was twisted at an unnatural angle and his throat was ripped out. With a start, I realized that I was covered in the bear's blood. I just drank blood. I just killed a fucking bear.

To my left, a twig snapped and I instinctively growled. I twisted my head and saw Dad, astonishment clear on his face. Realization dawned in his eyes as he watched me drop the bear as if it were a toy instead of an incredibly heavy, dead animal.

"Holy shit. That fucker. He knew." Dad could growl too, it appeared.

"Dad, what? Who knew? What did I just DO?" I looked in horror again at the bear at my feet.

"Billy knew all along. He wasn't just being a superstitious fool, that fucker knew and he didn't tell me! Fucking 'cold ones'! We're fucking cold ones!" Dad was pacing now, scaring me even more.

"What is a cold one, Dad? You don't feel cold, I don't feel cold. You're really freaking me the fuck out here," my frustration and irritation were clear in my voice.

"Bells, lay off the 'fucks' okay? Not until you can vote, remember? We just had this talk. I need to be calm and it's hard to be calm with my daughter swearing worse than a sailor. Besides, I'm pretty sure I need to eat, too. Be quiet, it's my turn to hunt; you'll scare away all the game if you keep shouting."

"Dad, seriously. I don't understand what I just did, are you saying you want to do this too? I'm scared. I'm scared and I'm pissed and I'm confused and my throat is on fire and I feel like punching a fucking tree!" I gushed, my words coming out faster as I got more upset. Deciding to give in to my urge, I turned and punched the nearest tree, shattering it at the point of contact and causing the tree to fall into the lush, dense ferns below. Wow. What kind of super powers do I have now?

"Bella, again, I need you to calm down. I'm going to figure all this out. We've got to keep a level head here, kid and I am gonna need you to do your best to not lose it on me, okay? Can you do that, Bells?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice. I knew that whatever science he was about to drop, it was going to blow my mind. Dad didn't mess around in a serious situation like this, so I knew that whatever he said would be the gospel truth.

"Bella, we're vampires"

**Jasper POV **

Peter and I stood at the foot of the chief's bed. He and the girl were just about to wake up and, by the sound of their heartbeats, the chief would wake up a few moments before his daughter. As soon as his last heartbeat sounded, the chief was standing crouched on his bed, sizing the two of us up. Peter and I maintained our submissive stance so as not to frighten the newbie. Chief Swan's brilliant ruby eyes were alert and calculating; his emotions the same. I expected the normal newborn chaotic cocktail of emotions, but instead, the ol' coot was surprising me. Instead of fear, anger, blood lust and confusion, he was obviously aware, calm, and somewhat wary; his face quickly displaying each emotion before he schooled his features into a calm mask.

I opened my mouth to speak when, from the other room, a growl sounded, and, then, a musical voice cried, "What the holy fried fuck just happened to me? What the hell? Did I just fucking growl?"

"It's okay, sugar. You're safe," soothed Char. I knew from experience that her posture would be the same as what Peter and I maintained; a submissive posture that generally set newbies at ease. Generally. Seemed to be working in our room; not so much in Char's. Her newbie woke up in a horn tossin' mood, rip roarin' and ready to fight. The girl's emotions were becoming more frenzied with each passing moment. I'd give Char a few moments to try to get her settled before I'd have to use my gift to calm her. We couldn't have her going ape shit. Judging by the growls she was sending Char's way, she was getting mighty close to ape shit status.

"Bells?" The chief finally spoke but didn't move - other than his eyes. Now instead of studying us, he was surveying the room. With his training as a police officer, I'm sure he was doing what I'd be doing (what I did when I awoke to this life) he was looking for an escape or a weakness. Like me, he'd be unlikely to find one.

"Dad?" She growled again. Her panic was rising, so I began to slowly send relaxation out. The chief's posture relaxed ever so slightly.

Time for me to step in, "Alright, ya'll, calm down, you're fine. We're gonna explain a few things to you."

"Bells, remember Plan 2B?" Chief Charlie asked. I didn't like where this was headed. Giving Peter a quick glance, I motioned him towards the balcony door in the room. We'd been stupid enough to put the chief in a corner bedroom, and, as a result, he had windows on two walls as well as a small seating area overlooking Jervis Inlet in the distance. Despite his minutely relaxed stance, I could still feel the chief planning something.

"Dad? What are you talking about?" The girl's confusion was painfully evident in her voice, but her emotions, even more so. I amped up the relaxation I'd started sending out - only to have it bounce right back to me. Now, not only could I not feel the girl, but I couldn't feel her father, nor could I use my gift to change either of their emotions.

Not. Fucking. Good.

Chief Swan's posture returned to the rigidity it held before, and his calculating eyes became frustrated. Were his face not such an easy read, I'd be oblivious to his feelings.

"What the…" I was at a loss for words. Never had anyone deflected my gift from themselves, let alone another being. One of the Swans was a shield, an immensely powerful shield.

"Fire escape plan 2B, Isabella. Did you ever pay attention to any of my contingency drills?" Before either Peter or I could register his actions or respond, the chief dove through the window closest to the bed, the window we didn't dare block for fear of making the newborn feel blocked in. With precision and control I'd never witnessed in a minutes old newborn, Chief Swan broke into the window in the adjoining room, grabbed his daughter and high tailed it to the trees, his daughter's frightened scream trailing behind them.

Racing through the window, Pete and I were joined by Char on the ground and we began our pursuit. Fuck, it was almost easy to forget after all those years how fast baby vamps are. Almost. We reached a cliff seconds after hearing the splash. They'd entered the water. Surely, they'd surface. They were too new to know that they couldn't drown and would have to surface in a panic to breathe.

They didn't surface.

We waited a full three minutes. They didn't surface.

At that point, they weren't going to surface.

In a panicked rage, I turned to Peter, "Where was your gift, fucker? Woulda been nice to have a heads up that we had a regular 'Fall Guy' on our hands!"

"Didn't see your gift being so helpful, Major. Where were you back there? You shoulda had them knocked smooth the fuck out." Pete was right. I hated when that shit happened.

Guess what they say about assuming is true. This time, I made an ass out of me.

"Thank you, Captain," I barked, reminding him of his place as my subordinate. This had turned into a search and rescue operation, and Peter was well aware that I took point on any and all operations. At this point, we weren't sure if the folks we were searching for were the ones that would need the rescuing.

"We'll have to split up to be most effective. First, we'll head back to the house and grab our emergency SAT phones. We can't trust regular cell phones in this terrain. We will have to hope that they get out of the water somewhere along the inlet, if they get out into Puget Sound, they could surface on any number of islands or even swim all the way to Russia for all we fucking know. I will want hourly reports via conference call, Char, I expect you to initiate and connect the conference calls. Pete…"

Char interrupted with a huff.

She fucking interrupted me.

"Oh, so since I have the tits, I get to do the fucking secretary job? Sure thing, Major. Wanna slap my ass as I pass your desk while you're at it?"

_Why do I put up with this shit? Why?_

I growled and glared at Char. "Fine. Peter, you do the secretary shit. Pretend you have tits if you have to, I don't rightly give a flying fuck. We have an objective and all I'm getting is shit. Fucking move out!"

We began our sprint back to the house to grab our SAT phones and split for our search. Before I could open my mouth to divvy up the search routes, Peter had to open his pie hole again.

"Why Major! How did you know Char loved that game? It sure is liberating to be Sweet Tits once in a while, give the ol' wifey a break… you know, spice of life and all that shit"

My growl cut his jest short. "Major, settle your ass down. I know shit's gonna work out."

"What do you know?" I demanded.

"Nothin'. Just know that it'll work out. Don't know how, don't know why. Just know."

His useful/useless gift/non-gift killed me at times. Fucker couldn't be vaguer if he were a carnival fortune teller.

Fucking great.

"Uh, I know somethin' else, Major."

More. Awesome. Let's pile this shit on. "What, Captain?"

"We need to brush up on our gangster rap, specifically some fellas called 'Geto Boys.' Don't ask why, Major. Don't have any idea, but my knower is telling me that shit will somehow come in handy"

Char giggled. Fucking giggled. "Babe, what are you going on about?"

Pete didn't answer her. Instead he began to rap under his breath, "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster…"

_What fresh hell is this? _

Since the entire situation obviously needed more fuckery, my phone just HAD to ring at that moment.

The name on the caller ID sent chills down my spine.

_Shit. Fuck. Damn. _

I braced myself. "Hello, Alice."

**ET Note(s): I referenced "Fall Guy" in the story - it's a show I loved as a kid. Lee Majors was the star... I even had a Fall Guy lunch box at one point... wiki/The_Fall_Guy**

**I'd also like to apologize for the wait between chapters. I figure that with the hectic holiday season breathing down my neck, I'll be lucky to get one update up per week. Besides, I know that my pre-reader &amp; betas have their own lives &amp; I don't need to bother 'em than I already do. ) **

Thanks for hanging in there... hope you're enjoying the ride as much as I am.

Also... Chapter 6 is already up at BIT - check my profile for the address...


	6. Chapter 6

_~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~_

_ET Note: Huge thanks to BetterInTexas for being the bestest pre-reader, like, ever; Huge thanks to my 2 bad-ass betas, Teresa Segrest &amp; MrsAlderaan - you both rock my socks; Huge thanks to Mist... I look at that banner WAY too much. Like, WAY too much. ;) MooN - your banner is booberific. (*)(*) BBA!_

_Oh... and HUGE thanks to you if you're reading this. 'Cause what is writing without readers? _

_On with the show…_

**_See additional note at the end of this story... _**

**Chapter 6**

**Bella POV**

What? Seriously, what the fuck?

I was prepared for many answers, but that one came out of left field. Vampires? I mean, I guess it kind of made sense. Dad's eyes were a pretty freakish red color and his mustache was gone, not to mention the tons of other physical changes in him. I liked to breathe, but our super swim made it obvious that I didn't need to. I could hear sounds all around, but no heartbeats from either Dad's chest or my own. I mean, I could hear a bird taking a poop from more than one hundred feet away (102.937 feet, to be exact) for Pete's sake. My brain was going completely whack-a-doo, and, yet, I was able to calculate random things, like how far away that stinky ass bird shit was. I could smell that shit, too. Ugh. We were all freakishly strong and I _did_ just eat this bear. Or did I just drink the bear? Have I just inadvertently turned a poor bear into a fucking vampire too? How would I eat, or drink, more if everything I bite turns all vampy on me? And I really, really wanted more.

_ I need more. I need more now. Blood. I can still smell it. Vampire. Wait…it's daytime and I'm not burnt to a crisp. Granted, the clouds had kept the sun from our skin… but still…_

I was mindlessly licking my fingers while getting lost in my cavernous mind. Yeah, that'll calm a raging psyche. Lick yourself mindlessly in front of your own _Dad_.

"Ahem. Right. Look, Bells, I know you have tons of questions, and I don't have that many answers. Believe me, you'd have 'em if I did. But if you do wanna get the answers that I have, I'm gonna need to get something to eat for myself. I hear several heavy heartbeats to the northeast. You hear 'em, sweetheart?"

The beating of those hearts became the sweetest siren call. Without answering, I took off, Dad hot on my heels. I began to growl, fearing that he would take my prey. It was MINE. I saw red.

With a ferocious, and, dare I say impressive, roar I leapt into the midst of a small herd of deer. Two does fell lifelessly to the ground as my hands instantly severed their spines. Without any conscious thought, I latched on to one deer and quickly drained it before turning to the other and giving it the same fate.

With the burn in my throat much less noticeable, I turned and saw Dad calmly holding a thrashing buck. That sucker was huge! If I hadn't started to figure out that Dad was made of some fucking tough stuff, I'd have been screaming my head off. The horns? Antlers? Whatever… those pointy things atop that fucker's head kept ramming my dad in his head. He didn't flinch, but that deer sure did. The buck's horns broke as his struggle intensified. Dad gave an irritated snap and the deer went limp before he neatly latched on to the neck.

Dad was still spotless and at first that didn't bother me, until I saw the two dead deer several feet away. Here I was bloody as hell and my clothes looked like I'd jacked them from a hobo, while Dad was finally eating with manners that would make Dear Abby proud. Where was this shit at our dinner table? I'd have much preferred him to be a neat eater back then. Now, I just felt pissed off that I was so fucking dirty and bloody and he wasn't. I was even more pissed because apparently I now growled when I was pissed. I was so fucking tired of growling.

"Isabella, calm down. Go ahead and ask your questions and then I will tell you what I remember about vampires."

"Okay, I'll try to stay calm. No promises. Everything is just so different! You look young, like really young, you've got muscles, your porn 'stache is gone, and your eyes are red! I can hear everything, Dad! Everything is just so… so… arrrgh!" I was getting overwhelmed.

"Isabella Marie! Sit your ass down right now." Shit. That was the cop voice. Newly discovered vampire nature aside that fucking cop voice gave me shivers. "Ask your questions. You will feel calmer once you have some answers."

_Yeah, I guess he's at least a little right. I hate not knowing. Okay, so questions…_

"Will these animals turn into vampires since we bit them?"

"No, sweetie, they're dead. Really dead. Pretty sure we are the only vampires for miles"

_Okay. Immediate concern addressed. Right. Good. Okay. Move on. What else should I ask? I have so many questions…_

"Dad, let's start with what you know and we'll figure the rest out." Another fucking growl ripped through my chest. "Or maybe you will figure it out and tell me once I'm not so fucking pissed off."

_Or maybe I can actually think of what to ask once I stop this growling shit. _

"Bells, c'mon. Watch the 'fucks', alright? Now, let's see… start with what I know. As you know, Billy's been my best friend for, well, forever. Not every pale face got to hear these stories, but since I practically lived on the Res as a kid, well, I wasn't just any pale face. I was invited to the bonfires and allowed to stay for the real good stories after all the other pale faces headed back to Forks for the night…" Charlie paused and looked into the trees as if he saw something I didn't see. With a deep breath, he began in a reverent tone, "Taha Aki was one of the last great spirit chiefs…"

He paused, I thought, for effect.

"Wait, what did you say about my mustache?"

** Alice POV**

Oh, how heavy a burden it can be to see the future. Sure, some might think of it as an advantageous gift, and at times, that is true. However, knowing that you've found your soul mate and having the insight that your long awaited mate is going to run off into the 'wild' with his daughter (also a newborn vampire) once they awaken to their new life is a pretty much sucked.

I knew that Charlie Swan was my mate, my happily ever after. My forever. Yet, I had to watch as my best friend and former lover drove away with him. I also knew that upon awakening, my mate and his daughter, Jasper's mate, would be pulling one hell of a getaway. My first inclination was to warn Jasper. I did NOT want my newborn mate to have to acclimate to his new life alone. But, I knew that this was necessary. I also thought it would be hilarious and humbling for a couple of newborns to finally get the drop on The Major and his two stooges, too.

Though it went against all of my natural instincts to protect what was mine, I knew that letting Charlie take Bella off into the wild was a step that they both needed for their own relationship. I would have him forever, but without this time alone together to get to really know and rely upon one another, their futures would not hold nearly the same amount of joy and happiness as I saw could be possible for them. Renee had robbed Charlie and Bella of so many years together. If they were again denied time to grow their relationship, they would never get another chance like this. Once Jasper and Bella realized that they belonged together and Charlie knew that I was his, those would be the bonds that would be top priority to our beasts, our inner vampire. Allowing them this time to roam and grow their bond would enhance the happiness that we, as mates, would share in the future. I just knew that my mate, and his daughter, would be even happier for this time together, so I had to do whatever possible in my power to help him grow that parental bond, even at the cost of my own happiness.

Lately, even shopping lately had not been the escape that it normally was for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my retail therapy would fail me. I guess having never been separated from my mate before; I didn't really know true emotional and spiritual pain. Of course, retail therapy may have been more fun if I weren't adhering to Charlie and Bella's clothing tastes. While I would love nothing more than to dress my handsome mate in the finest clothing, I knew that he wouldn't be comfortable with it. And neither would Bella. Those two really were far more alike than they'd ever had a chance to see before, but when they returned to our family, they would be two peas in a pod. Well, one serious and one playful pea.

As I grabbed the various bags from the checkout line at Target, I realized how deep my love for my mate truly ran. Never before, despite multiple requests and protests from my family had I ever taken their own styles too much into consideration. I simply went with what I saw would look the best on them. And, to their credit, they'd lovingly gone along for my sake. But Charlie and Bella would have no such thing.

Money and possessions meant very little to either one of them, instead, they saw beyond all of those things in a way that would both change and enlighten our family. Now, that's not to say that we are a bunch of vain assholes, but over time the amount of money that we've accumulated and become accustomed to would be bound to change anyone. As each one of us had billions of dollars thanks to my ability to predict the stock market, we made Warren Buffett look like he was headed for the welfare line. Charlie and Bella would help to ground us. They would be the ties that would cement our family forever.

I noted the time as I started my yellow Porsche 911 Turbo; the rumble of the engine sending the normal tingle of pleasure down my spine. This machine always calmed me. I needed to be calm for this phone call.

I took a breath as I found the contact and pressed the send button on my cell phone.

I took a breath. The phone rang once.

"Hello Alice." I could hear the dread in his voice.

_Shit, he's going to be so mad at me._

"Hello Jasper."

"Look, Allie Gal, let me explain…"

I interrupted him. "No, Jasper. Please let me explain. I am the one who should be apologizing to you."

"Explain."

_Shit. One word responses – once sentences are gone, he's beyond pissed. Here goes nothing…_

"I knew that they were going to escape and jump into Jervis Inlet, I wanted…" I never finished – this time Jasper interrupted me, only instead of words, he used a roar. A fairly impressive roar.

I had neither the time nor the patience for his macho bullshit.

"Jasper! You know I wouldn't ever jeopardize my mate! Don't you know that this is killing me? I want him safe, with you! I want his daughter safe and in your eyesight. I want so many things that are not going to happen. But this _had_ to happen, Jazz. You are merely worried right now, Jasper. I am the one who knows that their mate is all alone in the wild. So don't you dare roar at me, mister! This will ultimately be in the best interest of my mate. So, I am sacrificing my own sanity here, asshole. Cut me some slack, huh?"

"Okay, Allie, you're right. Just help me find them, huh? We can't have these newborns out there alone," he pleaded.

"Sorry, Jasper, no can do. I've seen that this will work out. They will come back to you when the time is right."

"Allie, you've got to give me more than that. Are the three of us up here going to be on constant cleanup duty? We can't have them out slaughtering who knows how many people. I don't want them to start this life with that guilt. It's going to be hard enough."

I knew I had to give him something. Jasper was a man of action. Sitting around and waiting was not in his nature. Never had been, never would be. "I can't tell you much, Jasper. I am begging you to trust me here. They will be fine. You will not believe how incredible they are going to be! Charlie's restraint is amazing and he will make sure that Bella stays away from human blood, his control will be unlike any newborn you've ever seen!"

He began to chuckle, "No shit, Sherlock. He's smart as a whip and quicker'n a duck on a june bug. Never in my life felt that level of awareness and concentration from a newborn. He has mighty good control of his shield already, too."

It was my turn to chuckle. "Oh, Charlie is no shield. He has no gift, really; he's just ridiculously calm, cool and collected. The yin to my yang. Bella is the shield." While it was tempting to tell Jasper more about Bella, there was no need for him to pine for his mate like I was. He would be lost in her soon enough. Besides, those two would have a hell of a time learning all about each other.

Where just as Charlie would be my grounding force, my rock; Bella would be the one to finally make Jasper see his true worth, help him see what a truly beautiful being he was, inside and out.

I smiled to myself, despite the hollow pain in my chest in anticipation of seeing the changes to come. With a push of the gas pedal and a satisfying squeal of the tires, I sped towards couture shopping for someone who would truly enjoy it. Time to shop at my normal haunts. Retail therapy, here I come.

**_ET Note: YES, I know the difference between antlers &amp; horns. I can fully explain it if you like (they really are very different), but in this story, Bella's not exactly an outdoor enthusiast. _**

**_Also, thanks for sticking with me. Life's been... busy... lately. _**

**_As always, further chapters available at www dot betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com (Up to chapter 8 over there...)_**

**_Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy New Year... or whatever you celebrate, hope it's happy. :)_**

**_Hope you enjoy it... _**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Usual disclaimers apply - I don't own anything in this story that is publicly recognizable. Stephanie Meyer wrote the Twilight Saga... Summit made the movies. I just took whatever they made &amp; let it run around in my odd little brain. This is some of what came of that romp... **

**Chapter 7**

** Charlie POV**

Bella had taken the limited information that I had to offer about vampires with surprising ease. Well, other than the fact that she couldn't quit growling and, that my sweet, shy, docile daughter had turned into a much scarier version of her old self. I never would've imagined that the same girl who had fainted at the mere sight of blood, would be able to finish off a grizzly and two good sized black tailed does with such ease. Okay, maybe not with as much ease as me, but with my help, maybe that could change. I realized that I finally had the chance to to teach my baby girl things, to help her grow, even if that growth was as a vampire. The opportunities that many parents either took for granted or threw away so easily never ceased to amaze me. As a father who damn near missed every major milestone in my daughter's short life, I was pretty damn excited about this opportunity.

Renee may have had 17 years, but I was going to get an eternity.

_Renee: 17 years – Charlie: Forever!_ _Neener, neener, neener! I win!_

_Suck on that, bitch. _

Okay, okay. Maybe I harbored more resentment towards my ex-wife than I previously realized. I'd been vocal about missing my girl and asking Renee for more time with her only to be denied or thwarted at each turn. There was always some reason that the she-devil could come up with to keep me from my daughter; most of which involved one of her hair brained schemes. I'd also suspected that she'd kept most of these requests from Bella. Bitch probably did the same with the monthly letters I sent. Bella never mentioned them, so it was a safe assumption. I'd kept quiet about it only because Bella seemed happy with her mom. All I'd ever wanted was for my baby girl to be happy and I refused to use my daughter as a pawn in some sort of revenge game.

_Unlike some people. _

Childish banter aside, I won. I know my daughter wasn't a thing to be won, a prize for the best parent. She was a treasure, to be sure; the jewel of my eye. Always had been, always would be. Even when she was being a bit of a raving bitch, like right now.

Okay, so when I wasn't fooling myself, I knew that Bella was acting _nothing _like the daughter I'd come to know. Well, as much as I was able to know her after interacting for mere weeks each year.

_Drop it Charlie you've got a damn long while to bitch &amp; moan. Do that shit later. You have eternity to be pissy about Renee. Focus on Bells. _

Despite my internal scolding, I couldn't help it as I cursed Renee for robbing me of the opportunity to know this stuff. Bella hadn't even been with me long enough to throw a hormone driven teenage fit, so I wouldn't even know how to handle a _human Bella_ fit, let alone the raging vampire fit she was throwing. The clearing that we sat in for our talk was quite a bit larger than it was when we got here. Seems my little girl was fond of pulverizing trees when she was pissed. And she was very, very pissed.

"So, what you're saying is that I'm going to be a fucking TEENAGER for all eternity?! No first trip to the voting booth? No twenty-one run where I get drunk off my ass and have a one night stand? No college mayhem and experimentation…"

"God dammit, Isabella!"

_Where the FUCK did that verbal diarrhea come from? I was with her right up until she said "one night stand" and then entered into the twilight zone that is a daughter's internal workings or some such crazy shit. NO father wants to be privy to all of that shit! I want to get closer to my daughter as her father and this conversation is NOT conducive to that! _

I had to get her back on track. This not blushing thing was going to end up benefitting both of us. I had a feeling that she was going to say even more stuff like that.

"Look, Bella, sweetheart, _please_, for the love of all that is holy, stop saying shit like that. No matter how big my brain feels right now, I do not currently have nor will I ever have the capacity or ability to safely hear and store that kind of shit."

"Shit. Fuck. Damn. Right. Um, uh, well, you know what I mean. It's not like I'd do all of that stuff anyway, okay? Maybe the one night stand…"

"ISABELLA!"

"Right, sorry. My point? I know I'm going to miss so much, Dad. I'm just so mad and confused. And, I think I'm hungry again. Or is it thirsty? Whatever. This growling bullshit is old already, Dad. Tell me how the fuck did I go from never really wanting to yell to this growling, snarling bitch? Believe me when I say Renee gave me ample reason, but I told you all about that. I even _feel_ bitchy. Like, I feel it crawling out of my brain and seeping into my entire body. It's taking over. Does that even make sense?"

My poor, confused girl was overwhelmed. I think I probably should have been, too. I mean, this was some pretty freaky shit. Wait… what did she say?

"What was that about Renee?" I could feel my calm mood fading fast. If she meant anything close to what I think she meant…

"Well, Dad, you know Renee. Look up 'flighty' in the dictionary and there's a pic of good ol' Ma. I love her, don't get me wrong, it's just that once I was old enough to understand what she was doing, her behavior quickly became wearing. I mean, it's pretty fucking sad when your five year old has to caution you about the dangers of deep frying a turkey. Indoors. Without reading the directions."

_Come again?_

"Come again?"

My anger made my mega-brain glitch. Higher thoughts were impossible. Instead of focusing on the sound and smells of the forest around us, I lost myself to a red haze.

"Seriously, Dad, you must be old. When you get old, the memory is the first thing to go, ya know. I'm sure I mentioned it in at least two of my letters. Wait, no, three letters; we had to repaint the kitchen since the first two colors Renee picked weren't good juju or something like that. Plus, I had to finish it. Once she got the majority of the paint on the wall, she was done. It would have stayed that way if I hadn't figured out how to cut in from the trim and tape and stuff like that. Good thing too, those skills came in handy over and over!" Her tone was flippant; the subject, anything but.

As soon as Bella said "letters," all logical thought left my mind. When she finished speaking, I heard and felt nothing but the crunch and snap of surrounding trees as I followed Bella's example and made the clearing larger.

My chest was heaving, the unnecessary breaths calming me. The scent of my daughter infused my lungs. Her scent had been precious to me since the moment I'd met her in the hospital. I'd never understood why my mother used to breathe in so deep when she used to hug me; when I became a parent, I finally understood. There's something so sweet and calming about smelling your own kid. Weird, yep. True, yep again. Now, even several feet away from her, her scent alone told me that she was safe. She was safe and here with me.

"Bella, are you saying that you wrote to me?"

"What are you saying, did you forget? That's harsh, Dad. It was bad enough that you didn't write back, but to forget…"

"No, Bella. I remember everything about your life. Well, everything that I saw or heard about. What I am saying is that I never got any of your letters. I wrote you once every month. Without fail, I wrote at least a small note on the thirteenth of each month, sweetheart."

This time, rocks were the target of her rage. Too bad we couldn't sell this stuff; we'd make a killing off of gravel and wood chips. Damn cavernous new-fangled brain, trying to make a buck while my kiddo is falling apart in front of my very eyes.

"No, you didn't! No! You couldn't have! Do you have any idea the things I've thought of you over the years? How abandoned I've felt? The times I cried to Mom? That bitch! She kept me from you! I want to rip her lying tongue out of her filthy mouth! Sure, she sent me to visit, but I felt so weird. I mean, since you never wrote back or even mentioned my letters, I believed mom that you _wanted_ us gone. I figured that you just barely tolerated the visits…"

_Charlie, your baby needs you. Calm your ass down. She's having a hard enough time adjusting to whatever our lives are now without this dirty nugget of information being dropped in her lap. I can always kill a bitch later…._

"Oh, sweetheart, Bells – I don't even know what to say. I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a small part of me that wanted to swim to Florida and literally bite your mother in the ass. But that's not going to give us back what was taken from us. Besides, I think that if either of us killed your mother, we'd come to regret it at some point. Well, maybe we'd regret it," I winked at my girl. The corner of her lip curled into a reluctant smile. It wasn't much, but at this point, it was a Godsend. I'd take it.

"But why, Dad? To what end? Let's face it, once I saw what a mess she was, I probably would have chosen to live with her, if only to save her from herself. It's not like I'm ignorant to the fact that I've been a self-sacrificing wimp. But she didn't need to lie to us. Do you realize that I could have had more than a father? I could have had a real dad, like I'd always wanted. I tried so hard, Dad. I just thought you didn't care. I don't know what to do, what to think." Her sorrow cut me like a machete.

_This was a bit beyond my normal 'Doctor Dad' stuff. How could I bandage this up? Damn you, Renee! I won't hit a bitch, but I'll shake her! _

Somehow, I kept my inner hostility hidden. Guess this vamp thing had made my lying and acting skills improve. It was shocking that I was able to contain my venom, let alone my growl as I began to speak, "We can only move forward. We've got each other now and that is what is important, Sweetheart. I'm here now. I've missed so damned much. And believe me when I say I've**_ missed_** it, Baby Girl. Now, we can learn together. And maybe I can still teach a life lesson here and there. Lesson one probably needs to be either wicked wilderness laundry and sewing, or, I'm gonna have to teach you how to eat without looking like 'Carrie'."

"Guess there is still plenty to teach me, huh? I'm going to learn wilderness clothing care and how to eat like a vampire lady. Too bad we don't have any sports equipment. Judging by how badass I am now, I could actually absorb some of that sports crap you used to try to cram down my throat."

My inner 'sports dad' began to perk up. Never once had I wished I'd had a boy instead of a girl. I had just hoped that the girl I had would have been able to play a simple game of tag with her old man; instead I got a beautifully clumsy bookworm. I'd not trade my Bella for all the tea in China, but the mere thought of being able to play any sport with my kiddo had me literally giddy. Her complete lack of interest in any physical activity had made finding activities we'd both enjoy a difficult task on her short visits.

"Isabella Marie, you had better not be joking, young lady."

Our banter seemed to calm her somewhat, finally. Her angelic face broke out into a blindingly beautiful smile, "Daddy, even I wouldn't joke about that with you. Now that I won't be risking life and limb, I don't see why I shouldn't learn some of that stuff. I feel so damned energized. Since I don't really feel like running hither and yon looking for some wildlife and laundry isn't exactly on my short list of fun things to do, how about we see what kind of sports knowledge you can impart on your previously sports-ignorant daughter?"

_She called me Daddy. She wants to learn about sports. _

_Be still my heart… oh… yeah….guess it wasn't exactly beating anyway. _

My eyes immediately began to scan the immediate area. Trees and rocks would provide good javelin and shot-put, but they would fly so far that they'd get lost to even our eyesight. Maybe we could start with a game of stick ball; we would just substitute a rock for the ball.

With that thought in mind, I began to play a 'sport' with my daughter for the first time in her life, "Alright, the game is stick ball. First things first, we've got to round up a few things…"

**Alice POV**

The town of Forks was shaken to its core by the loss of Chief Swan and his daughter. Because of that, the 'fact' that perfect Edward Cullen had been in an auto accident was easily overlooked. Still, our cover story was air tight in case anyone should care enough to ask. Edward's cast was a great annoyance and anything that could annoy the sulky grouse at this point was wonderfully entertaining to me.

_At this point, I'd take about anything to take my mind off of my missing mate. _

The ache was getting worse, but that was to be expected. Charlie's absence was weighing heavily on me. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed to not run straight to him. I'd be able to find him easily; I knew that he was currently fulfilling a lifelong dream, playing sports with his kiddo. It was so hard to stay in Forks; only the fact that I knew this bonding time with Bella would only further enrich our future relationship kept me in my seat.

The lunchroom at Forks High was unusually quiet. Funny how the students mourned a classmate that was merely an oddity to them. Bella had no time to form any real sort of relationships with our fellow students, yet they mourned her as an old friend. Jessica Stanley was the worst. Her claim of an immediate bond with my future best friend was laughable.

I no longer even pretended to eat. No one noticed. If they did, I could easily explain it as missing Jasper. As far as Forks High was concerned, we were joined at the hip. Well, I'd explain it like that should anyone get balls enough to actually ask me anything.

As I made to get up from the Formica table, I froze.

**_*Vison*_**

_Charlie and Bella were ecstatic. They'd happened upon an old, closed down campground; its office/store abandoned but not empty. Inside, Bella was able to acquire some t-shirts to replace her blood stained one. Charlie found a Frisbee, a football, and a trac ball. _

_"Hey Bells, check it out! More sports lessons!"_

_"Sweetness! Check out these shirts, Dad. Should I go with Snoopy roasting marshmallows or the 'Mt. Alice' shirt?"_

_"Will either one fit me?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Bella, who was holding up both choices for his inspection._

_"Yeah, the 'Mt. Alice' one will"_

_Both stiffened and turned toward the closed door. Bella began to growl and quickly rushed behind Charlie, the shirts forgotten on the floor. Charlie remained outwardly calm, doing his best to keep Bella in check. Alice's mate had amazing control, after all. _

_As Charlie reached back to grab Bella's hand in a comforting gesture, the door slowly began to open. Two vampires entered the room, somehow making their cocky stances seem nonthreatening. The two males stopped, giving the newborn vampires time to adjust to their presence. _

_"No need to fear, you two. We don't mean any harm; we scented your trails on our way to visit some friends. It's pretty easy to tell by your scents that you newborns, however, we were shocked to not find the scent of your sire. We came to see if you needed any kind of help. If not, we will be on our way," the elder vampire soothed. _

_"Thank you. Yes, we're newbies to this stuff. I'm Charlie, this is Bella. We'd love to ask a few questions, but do you mind if we do it outside? Bella hasn't figured out how to be as calm as me and even I'm feeling a bit titchy myeself in this closed up space." My mate's control was so impressive! _

_"Of course, no…" the elder vampire didn't have a chance to respond. The younger vampire, having just looked up from his immaculately clean, expensive looking shoes interrupted the elder vampire mid-sentence._

_"What kinda shit ya'll been smokin' to get eyes like that? I want some!"_

**_*End Vision*_**

I let out a sigh of relief. I knew that both Charlie and Bella would be safe; but having a trusted friend find them to help guide them would help Charlie to ease some tension he had been hiding for Bella's sake. At least my mate would find some temporary comfort.

With a gentle sigh, I left the table and the lunch room. For once,I couldn't wait to see someone in a t-shirt, the 'Mt. Alice' shirt would totally crack Emmett's shit up. The future was going to be so wonderful. The present never seemed more boring.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Author Note:**** Sorry for the delay in updating... I'd give my excuses about RL &amp; all that crap, but you aren't here to read that. Hopefully, you've come for the next installment of Swans BOGO... **

**First, a few thanks... BetterInTexas (Jason) has been the best prereader a writer could ask for. Additionally, his help on this chapter with Ty's dialogue was invaluable. **

**Anyway... on with the show... **

**Bella POV**

Dad &amp; I had been roaming in the wilds of some Canadian islands for a few weeks now. I was still angry &amp; constantly growling, but Dad had figured out a few tricks to help keep me calm. Oddly enough, learning about sports was one of the things that calmed me. Strange that something completely boring to me in my 'human' life could be of such interest in my vampire life. Perhaps the complete lack of any other kind of entertainment might have stoked my interest a bit. Wouldn't see me telling my Daddy that, though, he was happier than a clam with me listening to that schtuff.

Things had become fairly routine, Dad was teaching me how to hunt cleaner; he had explained every sports rule he ever knew (and I retained them, go figure). We talked about our lives apart and what all we had missed. We talked about being kept apart.

Renee was a bitch.

Dad was actually a pretty funny and interesting guy. Who knew? Well, Renee did. I couldn't even call her 'mom' in my mind anymore. As far as I was concerned, she stole my dad from me. Funny that she always was so against crime. She stole the most precious thing from me - father/daughter time.

Time was actually helping my anger in that area. Distraction was pretty key, too. Dad had been having a hard time coming up with distractions until yesterday, when we happened upon an old, abandoned camping ground. As luck would have it, there was an office that hadn't been emptied when it was closed down. While I appreciated the chance to bond with Dad, the monotony of it all was really starting to suck. We'd found some clothes and some game stuff that had Dad stoked. There were even a few books about the history and folk lore of the area. Our happy bubble was popped when we were interrupted by the two vampires Dad was now chatting with. The older guy, Garrett, seemed pretty reserved, but cool. He was a fountain of information and Dad was just soaking it up. Guess Billy's old legends only covered the wolf side of things.

Dad &amp; I had pretty much come to the conclusion that if the 'cold ones' were real, the Spirit Warriors were probably real, too. That little tidbit kinda blew Dad's mind. He never suspected he lived in some sort of supernatural gathering place. He was still mad at Billy, too.

_Alright, Tangent Girl, pay attention! _

This Garrett fella was telling us about vampire laws, history, rulers, and our new found super hero status. It probably would have been a good idea to pay better attention, but I was too enthralled with the beings before me.

Vampire men were beautiful.

Sure, I'd noticed the changes in Dad, but, there's that whole 'DAD' thing. I knew he was probably really smokin' hot to others of the 'dual x chromosomal' persuasion… heck, Dad would probably turn a few men's heads, too.

_Grossness. Brillo &amp; Bleach treatment to the brain, STAT! _

_Stupid infallible memory. Where were you for tests? Thanks for showing up when I start to contemplate the attractiveness of my very own father to both sexes. _

Seriously though, it was pretty hard to be objective about Dad. No matter what, he was just that, Dad. He was the same guy that made up the silly "Doctor Dad" thing to help find humor in my many klutz-induced injuries over the years. He was the man who stepped in a time or two to help Renee with the bills when she didn't quite make it, even though neither thought that I knew that he did it. He was the strong, safe police man that scared away the bad guys in my childhood dreams. He'd always expressed his love for me in silent ways. I was only just now coming to see them. Therefore, while I was beginning to find Dad to be a beautiful person, it was more of a 'beautiful on the inside' kind of thing.

These two new guys were just fucking hot. Smoking fucking hot… And my new vampire body seemed to have all sorts of new vampire hormones. Vampire history &amp; crap like that could be absorbed later. Right now, my hormones were directing my eyes from Garrett, whom I'd equated to a sexy history professor in my dirty mind, to his friend and companion (but not "companion" in the Biblical sense – they'd made that abundantly clear), Ty.

Ty was standing back observing as well. That's not to say he was being quiet. I don't know that quiet was really in his nature, let alone his vocabulary. He had plenty to say… he was a one man peanut gallery… but he obviously deferred to Garrett as their leader. Somehow I got the feeling that he'd never really admit to the fact that he deferred to anyone, though.

Ty. Oh me oh my. The man was sex on legs. Oh, and what legs they were! His long, muscular body reached an impressive 6'4". His smooth brown skin flawlessly covered his toned muscles. Well, those muscles that his damned clothes would let me see. He was wearing too many clothes. My imagination had NO problems 'filling in the blanks' that his shorts &amp; t-shirt left. Granted, my experience with one bit of that anatomy was non-existent… maybe he could help me to change that….

If he didn't play sports before he was turned, it would have been a sin. Ty, I'd equated to a star basketball player, if his physique was any indicator. (Funny how all of Dad's sports lectures had come in handy in assessing the sexiness of our new friends) I'd have to ask Mr. Basketball. Maybe we could go for a walk…

_Maybe he'd let me lick that sexy, bald head of his, too._

Ugh. Dad would kill me. Maybe it'd be worth it. Another of those damned growls ripped through my lips. Mr. Basketball sent a sexy smirk my way.

_Oh, those lips…_

Ty focused intently on me, licking his lips.

_Can I spontaneously combust?_

"Hey doll, I got a pretty good idea what that scent is. You need some help scratchin' that itch?" Ty's voice was somehow sexier when he was talking directly to me.

This time, Dad growled. Huh. Maybe I wasn't as sly in my blatant eye fucking of our new buddies as I thought I was.

"My bad Pops, didn't know you was runnin' a trophy wife. It's all good."

The inability to blush had been an amazing perk of this new vampire thing. With my potty mouth diarrhea, I'm sure I'd have a perma-blush on my cheeks from just some of the things I'd said to Dad… but now with these two hunks of man meat, who knows what kind of embarrassing thing I'll do to myself next…

Dad's growl ceased &amp; he had a calculating look. I'm not sure I liked it. He was kinda freaking me out.

"And if I were?" Dad asked.

_No. He. Didn't._

"DAD!" my indignant growling scream bounced off the trees at an alarming volume.

Our new, sexy buddies looked confused at our exchange.

"Bella isn't my, um… Bella is my daughter - my biological, formerly human, daughter. "

Our cute companions looked at one another, then back at us. It didn't escape my notice, nor did it escape Dad's, that both of their eyes took on a calculating look – but not in a total 'creeper' kind of way. However, they both looked at me like I was something to eat and if I were being honest with myself; I wasn't opposed to the idea at all.

I opened my mouth to speak when Dad's growl sounded out again.

_Great. Now we get to do the 'agro-over-protective-dad thing'. Fun. _

It was a challenge to remind myself that I loved my dad &amp; that he wasn't my enemy. Sure, he was a cock blocker, but he was my dad. Guess it kinda came with the territory. If Renee had been here, she would have been calling 'dibs' on one beefcake or another. I'd take Dad's normal over protective dad shtick over Renee's childish flirting &amp; embarrassing pick-up lines any day.

**_*Flashback*_**

_Mom had just arrived to pick me up from my first day of high school. She was late, of course. I was used to it. Kinda came with the whole 'single mom' thing. Something about never having enough time to do what she needed to in order to take care of me properly… or so she told me. I knew she just forgot. _

_I sat on the stairs in front of school, watching as she flew into the school parking lot, screeching to a halt. As luck would have it, a couple of older guys, football players by the looks of their varsity jackets, were walking down the stairs as she made her 'grand entrance.'_

_My silent prayers rang out in my head. Please don't let her embarrass me. Please! _

_I quickly got into the car &amp; tried my best to hide behind my hair. Unfortunately I'd recently cut much of it to donate to Locks of Love. Renee &amp; I were going to do it together until she got a haircut one day while I was at the library. She'd 'forgotten' our pact. She'd also forgotten to pick me up on time that day, too. _

_The guys passed by the front of the car &amp; breathed a sigh of relief. _

_Too soon. _

_Renee opened her door. _

_"Was your dad a baker? You've got a nice set of buns." Renee's terrible pick up line sounded scarier than a gun fired at point blank range. _

_The two looked at each other and shrugged. I got to wait in the car while she flirted with them. Mortified doesn't even begin to cover how I felt. _

**_*End Flashback*_**

I shook myself out of a daze in time to hear my dad 'defending my honor' or some such shit…

"Isabella is NOT available to two strange men we just met. Vampire or not, it'll be a cold day in hell before I…"

My turn to growl. "Dad!"

"Hey, you two, cool down. We understand what you are saying, a'ight?"Ty's words said what Dad wanted to hear. Luckily, his eyes said what I wanted him to say. He liked what he saw. Garrett did, too. Hell, I liked both of them… who's to say we all couldn't…

_What the holy FUCK, Bella?! From virgin to super-mega-ultra-lightning slut in 0.15 seconds, huh? Slow yourself down, Bella. Remember, Dad is here. Dad is here. Dad is here. Dead kittens. Naked Grandpas. Old folk's allergies. Having somebody yucky like you. Denim golf jeans. Voldemort. Yes, I said Voldemort._

Voldemort did it. Hormones temporarily settled down. Crisis averted.

_Phew!_

"So, um, anyway, um, I think I'm getting an appetite again, Dad," I stuttered, shifting my eyes from my dad, to the trees, to the ground, to anything but the men in front of me that I was still trying my damnedest to not mind molest. If I was going to keep my _smell_ in check, I would have to change the subject. Food was always a good change of subject, right?

"Don't go th…" Garret warned.

Whatever he was going to say was quickly interrupted by Ty's eager voice.

"Oh, if you've got an appetite, I'd be happy to help out." Even his voice oozed sex – how could it not when he said stuff like _that_.

Again with Dad's growl. And again with my thankfulness that I was unable to blush. Being so naïve was going to get me in a lot of trouble if I didn't watch myself around Ty. I think he could turn anything into an innuendo, but it's not like I made that one hard… hard… oh goodness… hard….

_Fuck! Back to square one. Voldemort. Voldemort. _

My responding squeak was the furthest thing from cute or sexy. "Hunt. Dad, can we hunt please?"

"I'd been meaning to ask, how have you two been sustaining yourselves? You're pretty far removed from any population here on these islands. We happened upon you merely by chance…"

Again, Garrett didn't finish. Seemed Ty had no qualms butting in wherever he saw fit, "By chance, huh? Don't you mean you were stupid enough to challenge ME to a race to the middle of nowhere Washington to visit your pussy friends and I got too far ahead? You know I stopped here to let your slow ass catch up."

"Sometimes I don't know why I keep your loud ass around," Garrett muttered.

"You don't keep me around. No one keeps me. I choose to bless you with my glorious presence to spice up your dreary existence. Besides, you don't really seem to mind the extra women I seem to attract. You know that the dolls are especially drawn to the animal charisma I throw off."

I couldn't help my slight chuckle.

_These two are hilarious! If someone wrote a story about them, I'd read it in a heartbeat! _

Garrett cleared his throat. Rather odd to see such a human action on such an inhumanly beautiful man. Considering I'd not seen much that was 'human' for the past 25 days (600 hours, 35 minutes, from the time of our great escape - approximately). "Right. Moving on." He looked at Dad &amp; then me. "Where have you been hunting? Do you swim to the mainland?"

"Mainland? No! Why would we? There are **humans** there!" I couldn't help the rant that spewed forth. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone. I couldn't do to someone what that monster did to Dad &amp; I.

Both men looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head that was smoking a crack rock in front of a group of preschool unicorns that shit rainbows or something. I know I didn't have a booger in my nose or spinach in my teeth, so they had to be responding to my perfectly reasonable rant.

"That would be the point. Humans are food. We eat them. They are on the mainland." Ty's tone indicated what he thought of our intelligence. It wasn't a complementary tone, either.

"We don't hunt humans, Ty. We hunt only animals," Dad offered. I nodded in agreement.

Garrett's face lit with thought. "If you hadn't already explained that you knew nothing of your maker and that you were attacked in your own home, I'd be almost certain that you had met the very friend that Ty and I are on our way to see. They, along with the friends we just left, are the only other vampires that I know that choose your lifestyle."

"You mean the doctor vamp you told me about? Are you saying these uninformed individuals drink from animals like the vegetarian vampires? We just left the Denali clan and all of their wonderful hospitality, so I know you aren't talking about them. Those ladies like to gossip almost as much as they like to fuck, so they would have told us about a new beautiful woman like shortie here. Speakin' of beautiful, let me tell you Charlie, one night Irena &amp; I had just started to get going when there was a knock at the door and Tanya walks in right? Charlie, trust me, you got to go visit that coven. So anyway she's like, 'hey what's up'…"

"Tyrone, do you really think it's appropriate to tell your 'Dear Penthouse' stories in front of a lady?" I was starting to get the point that if Garrett wanted Ty to keep his innuendo to himself, we'd have to part ways at some point. Probably for the best – heaven knows I wanted to lick them both like a lollypop should be licked. That continued line of thought was getting more disturbing by the second – these things were meant to be thought of when Dad was far, far away. And I didn't want Daddy to be far away. I needed him.

"Your diet would also explain your strange eye color; those of us that feed from humans have red eyes, while vegetarians have amber colored eyes. The orange color must be due to the change between red and amber… I've never seen this before…" Garrett shook his head. "Generally one only sees vampires with red or black eyes - black indicating hunger, anger, or, lust," he soothed, looking at me before quickly returning his eyes to my _father_ after hearing his annoyed growl. Unfortunately he got right back on track, "You will probably have completely golden eyes at some point, I am sure."

Dad stroked his 'phantom mustache' – a habit he'd picked up when I brought his attention to the fact that the very fuzzy caterpillar had finally turned into a butterfly and had vacated his upper lip.

_About time that fucking cocoon hatched. _

It would almost be worth kissing the guy who vamped us out if vamping us out was, in fact, what had finally rid him of the vile facial hair. Almost. I didn't hate the 'stache THAT much.

A Dad stroking his 'stache was a thinking Dad. "What else can you tell us about these 'vegetarian' vampires?"

"You know, come to think of it, Carlisle &amp; his family would be a perfect fit for you two. They share your diet, and I'm sure they would be more than happy to help you out in any way possible. Carlisle has a knack for collecting strays…" Garrett mused.

"Where did you say you were headed?" Dad asked. I could tell that he was getting suspicious, but, of what, I didn't know. I'd find out soon enough.

"We didn't say – but we're headed to Forks. It's a little town…"

Dad quickly stopped Garrett's answer. "Yes, I've heard of it. Carlisle's last name wouldn't happen to be Cullen, would it?"

"Yes, his last name is Cullen," Garrett cautiously answered.

Dad's already rumbling chest kicked it up another notch.

_Shit. _

"Oh, I know Doctor Cullen. I'd love to meet up with him again."

**Carlisle POV**

Esme &amp; I were sitting together on the living room sofa trying to find a moment of solace. That kind of moment had been a rare commodity lately. Between Jasper having to leave and subsequently losing the Swan newborns, Alice's suddenly sulky attitude, Edward's incessant whining &amp; the overall gloom surrounding our once happy home, we were all at our wits end.

My cell phone buzzed, breaking the peaceful silence. A glance at the caller ID revealed the name of an old friend. Perhaps a conversation that didn't revolve around our current troubles would be a nice reprieve.

_Famous last words…._

"Good afternoon, Garrett, to what do I owe the pleasure? I haven't heard from you in ages, Old Man!"

"_Who are you calling 'old'? Last time I checked, you had me beat in that department, Redcoat. I am calling about, well, a fairly touchy matter."_

That didn't sound good. Garrett didn't do much 'serious' since he'd picked up his young friend a few years ago. Ty had done wonders in loosening the old fool up.

"Out with it, Garrett. You know I'll help where I'm able."

_"Well, that's the thing, Carlisle. You may have already been involved in this particular situation. Tyrone &amp; I have met some fairly interesting folks here who you may know."_

Offhand, I couldn't think anyone that fit that description – Garrett usually wasn't so evasive. Something was definitely off. Garrett took my silence as what it was, pure confusion.

"_Carlisle, Tyrone &amp; I are standing here with Charlie &amp; Bella Swan."_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: As always, I own nothing related to Twilight. Any characters that you recognize are the sole property of their creators (or whoever owns the copy-write, I don't know how that stuff works). The amount of money that I make from writing this is nil. Matter of fact, perhaps I could make more money if I focused on something other than writing this stuff... but I enjoy it and hope you do as well. **_

**Now, on to Swans Buy One, Get One - Join me as we see what's going on in Forks, WA. **

**Chapter 9**

**Emmett POV**

Funny how just a few weeks ago I was wishing for some excitement; I'd pretty much given up on that wish until Hurricane Isabella rolled into sleepy old Forks. Okay, so maybe it wasn't fair to name the cluster-fuck of epic proportions after the poor girl. All she did was smell good. Really fucking good. Not her fault. No, this shit all started with my_ dear_ little brother.

Eddikins always had been a pompous, know it all motherfucker. Thinks just 'cause he can read minds that his shit doesn't stink or maybe that he farts rainbows. How the fuck could I know what goes on under that fucked up mop on top of his melon? He's always the first to remind us not to bet against Alice, but somehow once Alice warns HIM about a possible weakness, she must be wrong.

_Wonder what it's like living in La La Land? _

Well, as they say, be careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it… looks like the Cullen clan had excitement in spades. I think the most exciting thing, at least for Rosie &amp; I, was seeing the copper haired freak get his comeuppance.

Now, over the course of my years, I'd never doubted the leadership of my 'adoptive parents'; however, I did think that sometimes they were a bit lenient. Sure I did. But wasn't gonna call 'em on it when they were normally using that leniency on _me_.

Seeing them tear into Edward had to be the highlight of my existence so far… and that's saying a lot considering I'm married to and get to screw…er, um, make love to a real life Aphrodite on the daily. Edweird's punishment (so far) for the fiasco at Casa Swan gave even my Rosie's plethora of astounding attributes a run for their money. Seriously, remembering Carlisle &amp; Esme throwing down on the golden boy would be on the reel of my happiest memories.

_A guy's gotta have more than 'spank bank material' for his 'happy place' moments. _

_Yeah, I'm all Zen &amp; shit, okay?_

Watching other people tearing shit up is pretty fucking cool and thus good material for my 'happy place' reel. Especially when the shit they're tearing up is a piece of shit you wouldn't mind getting your hands on, again.

_Yeah, Edward is pretty much shit. _

**_*Flashback*_**

_Carlisle had just returned from blowing the shit out of the Swan joint. Seriously, we heard that shit from __inside__ our house. Having just had to steal bodies, create a gas explosion &amp; all that other cover up kind of shit, he really looked the worse for wear. Dropping two duffle bags &amp; two backpacks on the bright wood floor with an unceremonious thud he turned to the pile-o-Edward on the floor &amp; pinched the bridge of his nose and let forth a furious growl. _

_"Edward, kindly explain to me why I just had to steal two bodies, blow up the home of the Chief of Police in order to fake the death of the well-respected man &amp; his long lost daughter, as well as uproot &amp; split apart our family. I'd really, truly like some sort of insight into your line of thinking. As it currently sits, I can see no possible reason for your blatant disregard for not only Alice's obviously sound advice but also the safety, security &amp; secrecy of your FAMILY."_

_Wow. Guess Daddy C meant business. I hadn't even fucked up this bad before. This is a whole new level of pissed-offed-ness that I found I rather enjoyed, so long as it wasn't aimed at me…or my Rosie, of course. _

_It was a struggle to keep my face from splitting into an ear to ear, shit eating grin. I hazarded a look across the room at Alice, only to see that she was not even trying to hide her sick glee at Edward's pain &amp; Carlisle's rage. _

_Huh. _

_I'd figured she'd be more inclined to side with the golden boy. Guess if she got to grin like a fuckin' loon, I might as well join in. _

I can't fight this feeling anymore; I'd forgotten what I'd started fighting for.

_Carlisle began reassembling Eddikins. I kinda figured that would be the end of things. It was at that moment that I learned a valuable lesson – sometimes it is good, no, _fucking great_ to be wrong. Once the former golden boy was whole again, Carlisle broke his fucking right arm off just below the elbow. _

Fucking shit. That had to hurt.

_He hadn't even completely finished healing from the game of wishbone (that I was _still_ mad about losing). _

_"This will be the insurance policy for the good and safety of our family. This will ensure that you will stay and play your part until we are all able to leave," Carlisle gritted through clenched teeth. _

_As a matter of fact, there wasn't much about ol' Papa Bear that wasn't clenched right now. _

_Of course, Ed had to wail some more. Oh, woe is me &amp; shit. Jasper, Peter &amp; even little teeny tiny Char had all suffered worse &amp; I'd bet they never pissed &amp; moaned this much. "How can I be expected to carry on as normal when I'm MISSING A FUCKING LIMB?" _

_"As I'm sure you know, my orthopedic skills are unrivaled in Forks, son. I'll be more than happy to put a cast on your arm until you can heal. Now, the important question, what color would you like your cast to be?"_

**_*End Flashback*_**

Man, it sure was fun watching ol' Ed try and work his way outta that one. Carlisle got so sick of his bitching that the poor fucker wound up with a 'broken' toe, too! As soon as he came home with those fuckin' rad neon green casts, I was in heaven. Carlisle told us that Edward had tried to go for plain old white, but unfortunately the hospital was 'all out'.

Plus, I'd contributed a paper mache hand prepared lovingly using my old Playboys (not the mint collection, of course – I used the 'daily use' shit). You know, helping out the family &amp; shit. Carlisle gets an extra good Christmas present for actually using it.

The biggest positive thing was that Edward was finally finding out what life for the rest of us 'non-perfect' Cullens was like. I get that Carlisle &amp; Esme had a soft spot for the fucker 'cause of their history, but it was nice that they were finally seeing that he wasn't perfect. Shit, the rest of us 'kids' had known forever. Glad the 'rents finally caught up.

Another positive was watching Ed squirm at school in that fucking wonderful green monster of a cast. Of course, we'd all signed it, what good siblings wouldn't?

_All part of the human charade, right? _

Our 'John Hancock's' on that bright bad boy made other Forks students start asking to sign it. Oh, Rose &amp; I got more enjoyment out of that than watching the actual limb removal. Maybe we were more sadistic than we thought we were. Huh.

Alice, on the other hand, seemed off. Sure, this whole thing changed our family. Fuck, the whole town of Forks was in an uproar. The Chief of Police &amp; his daughter were gone, 'dead'.

The explosion was fast &amp; hot burning so the majority of the damage was contained to the Swan property. Of course there was an ongoing investigation, but Carlisle did a good job of the arson, so from what we were able to tell, the investigation was pointing to a gas leak in the basement that was lit off by the furnace. From what anyone else knew, the Swan family perished in a fire while in the kitchen together. The bodies were burnt far beyond recognition &amp; a quick hack into the right database had the dental records matching perfectly.

Kinda sad how easy it was for us when you really thought about it.

The bell rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. Lunchtime used to be my least favorite time of the day at high school. Now, I couldn't wait for it. It took no time for me to deposit my shit in my locker &amp; meet up with my Rose to grab her books on our way to the cafeteria. 'Course I always carry her books, 'cause I'm all gentlemanly &amp; shit.

Our eyes met for a shared moment of silent glee before we walked through the doors &amp; through the cafeteria line. I would be a proud member of the clean plate club every day if it meant I got to watch Ed squirm like he did each and every day at lunch.

Since Ed had his unfortunate quad accident (that was the story we were running with), we'd been under the microscope than normal. Okay, so that's not entirely true. **Edward** had been the recipient of many offers of 'after school nurses' and even some of the guys approached to ask to sign his cast. Guess they felt less intimidated by us after one of us got an injury. He got way more attention than he was comfortable with; everyone wanted to be his friend or fucking help him out. The fucker hated it.

So, since all eyes seemed to always be on poor, broken Edward Cullen that meant all eyes were on us at lunch. And, since all eyes were on us, we had to actually take a few bites every now and again.

**It was so worth it. **

Rosie didn't love it, but she found that she didn't mind if it fucked up Eddie's day, so she was game. Alice was a whole other kettle of fish though. Since she &amp; J had dropped the whole 'we're not really mates' bomb on us, I didn't think she'd take his absence so hard. But the girl was just torn up. At first, I was afraid that she was feeling sorry for our sorry sack of shit brother, but the only time she got any sort of light in her eyes was when something fucked with Ed. So she definitely wasn't on Team Edward.

_Phew! _

She moped around home &amp; school. The gossip at school was that Jasper left her and she was heartbroken. Saved her from having to eat at lunch.

_Lucky. _

Guess it's 'okay' for girls to get all weird with what they eat when they are mad. Whatever. Point is, she got out of eating. If she dropped the sad act when we left school, I'd be convinced she just played a part to avoid having to puke up the human food in the bathroom before heading back to class. But that wasn't it either.

So, as I sat thinking all this shit at the lunch table, trying to figure out what the fuck was up with my little sis, Jessica Stanley came forth to provide the afternoon's entertainment.

_Guess she wasn't so useless after all. Huh. _

"Um, Edward, I, uh, I'm really sorry about your arm &amp; all. I broke my leg my freshman year and it like, took _forever_ to heal. So, anyway, my mom &amp; I kinda went overboard baking last night and we had tons of these extra snickerdoodle cookies. Since my dad always likes to eat them when he's having a bad day, I figured that you would maybe like some because, like, what's worse than a broken bone, right?"

Oh man, this shit was too fucking good.

_ Name one red blooded American teenage boy who turns down cookies from a cute girl at school. _

_None. You won't find 'em. _

Teenage boys dig attention from girls. Edward was yet again trapped. He couldn't refuse the cookies without raising suspicion. Wonder if Carlisle considered shit like this when he ripped the arm off? If so, he's way more diabolical than I gave him credit for.

_Score another one for Daddy C. _

"Thank you, Jessica. I'm sure I'll enjoy them later. How very thoughtful of you and your mother. Please send her my thanks as well."

The look in her eyes let us know that she wasn't done.

_Way worth the bit of greasy pizza currently sliding down my throat. _

"Don't you want to try one? They are best when they're still warm, but if not warm, then the fresher the better. It's our special recipe."

"Right. Of course." Fuckface tried to hide his grimace. I suppose he did a fine job as far as Jessica could see, but we saw his quick scowl. Fucker hated cinnamon with a passion. This was gonna be fucking classic!

He took a bite, taking nearly half the cookie in one chomp.

_Go big or go home, right? Good man, Ed!_

Edward's eyes shifted to me as he growled. Fucker was lucky the kind Ms. Stanley thought it was him clearing his throat. She was so thoughtful; she'd brought him a carton of milk, too.

"Here. What's a cookie without milk, right?"

_The hits just kept comin'. I swear, if Rose wouldn't hand my balls to me, I'd kiss Jess for this shit. _

"Oh. Right. Thank you again, Jessica."

She stared at him a beat longer before obviously getting tired of his rude behavior and deciding to leave. "Um, okay. So, yeah. Anyway, if you ever want anymore, just, like let me know. Mom &amp; I are always baking."

Funny the shit some people will put up from others to maybe, just maybe earn their favor. Here she gave the fucker cookies and even though the words were right, he was still a Grade A prick about how he delivered his thanks. And the poor girl was ready to offer him more cookies.

_Bet she'd really like to give the ol' virgin __all__ of her cookies; like he'd even know what to do with a woman's cookies if they fell from the sky and did a hula dance on his face. _

Rosie's eyes danced with mirth &amp; together we looked at Alice. She didn't even register the exchange. She just sat there, staring into space, rubbing her chest. What the fuck was up with that? I tried to see if anything in the room around us could have captured her attention, but saw nothing. She was looking to the north. What was north?

It finally clicked.

_What happens to me when Rosie, my mate, is too far away? My chest fucking HURTS. _

I whisper-shouted at Alice, "No fucking way! Please tell me it was Bella! Please!"

That's the kind of excitement I really could use. I wouldn't totally perv out and try to watch 'em or anything, but vampire hearing _is_ outstanding and walls are never thick enough in a family as large as our own.

_Please let it be Bella. _

Edward's low growl went completely unnoticed by Rosie &amp; I as we held Alice in our gazes.

She looked startled for a moment before she sadly shook her head. "No, not Bella, Emmett."

"What? What isn't Bella?" Rosie asked, looking between Allie &amp; me.

"Bella isn't my mate. Charlie is."

_Oh snap._


	10. Chapter 10

**_AN: I don't own it. BetterInTexas is an amazing cheerleader &amp; pre-reader. Thanks for reading!_**

Chapter 10

**Jasper POV**

Twenty five days. The Swans had been gone for twenty five long mother fucking days. Alice knew a lot more than she was telling me; only Peter's_ knower_ letting him 'know' everything would work out kept me somewhat sane. Somewhat.

Every one of my instincts screamed at me that letting them alone wasn't right. For some reason they needed to be here. I'd never really cared that much about random newborns before. Perhaps knowing that one of the missing newborns was Alice's mate had something to do with it? It had nothing to do with the fact that the scent of Isabella sparked something unknown inside of me. It had nothing to do with the way her smell haunted me for a reason that I couldn't quite grasp. I wanted to protect my friend's mate. That was it.

Peter wasn't helping my sanity at all. I knew better than to expect anything different.

The know-it-all fucker was actin' like cock of the walk. Must be nice to not have to worry 'bout shit. Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury. Didn't have a 'mute' button for Peter, either.

The aforementioned fucker was making life, well, interesting, to say the least. He always did have a way of doin' that, I suppose. Lately he'd taken to the "secretary" thing pretty seriously. Disturbingly seriously. Pretty sure he was just trying to yank my chain, but damned if I'd ever get the memory of the sounds of the 'recreation' of certain scenes from the movie "Nine to Five" out of my head. Would have been bad enough just knowing they acted it out… but the sound of Peter playing 'Doralee' to Char's 'Mr. Hart' was just too much. Fucker did always have a thing for Dolly Parton.

I could have done without finding the curly blonde wig in the hallway.

_Char had long enough hair to not need a wig. _

_Moving along. _

I entered the front yard, pausing to listen for more sounds that I didn't need to hear, before heading into the house to have a shower. Not that I needed it, as I hadn't played with my food like  
Emmett, I was still spotless. A shower was just another way to pass some time. Seems like passing time was all we'd done.

_Alice knows this shit ain't my style. I'm not the type to twiddle my thumbs and waste daylight. _

I toed off my boots before dropping my jeans &amp; peeling off my black t-shirt. I purposely avoided the mirror – I knew what I looked like. Vampire memory is a fucking peach. I didn't need a mirror; I already knew the exact location of each of the 8,076 bite mark scars that covered my diamond hard skin. I let my mind wander as I waited for the water to heat; I prefer my showers hotter 'n a two dollar pistol. The heat seemed to momentarily release some of the tension that I couldn't get rid of. I was sicker than shit of not knowing what in the hell had me so bound up.

I realized that the shower wasn't going to calm me any more, not with my mind fired up and zoomin' like greased lightnin' as it was… it was time to get out and find the idiots that I called 'family' before they decided to create a porn version of another Dolly Parton film.

_Lord knows Peter knows all of 'em. _

To my surprise, Peter &amp; Char were sitting in the dining room at the table. With the exception of the room christening they'd done before my arrival, I wasn't aware that they'd even entered this room before.

Char had a look of boredom on her face as she studied the game of solitaire before her. She knew better than to try and fool me. She was feeling amused.

_Peter's up to something again. Fucker. _

Peter was filing his fingernails. Well, as well as a vampire could file his fingernails; probably a more apt description to say that he was filing down the fingernail file _on his fingernails_. His cell phone was placed in front of him and his emotions were as well. His anticipation and amusement were nearly blasting from him into his surroundings, yet he was somehow as serious as the business end of a .45. Something was definitely up.

"Howdy, Major Whitlock. Can I get anything for you?" Peter simpered.

My growl was louder than even I expected.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then, sir. Your schedule for the day is clear, barring any unforeseen interruptions. You also have no new messages, sir. Would you like your coffee as usual or are you gonna just stomp around here like you got a bug up your ass?"

I almost couldn't believe he had the brass balls to continue. Almost. Char just shook her head and continued on in her game.

This time, my growl was cut off by the song blaring from Peter's cell phone.

_Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'_

_Barely getting by, it's all takin' and no givin' _

_You just lose your mind, and they never give you credit, _

_It's enough to drive you CRAZY if you let it! _

Of course that was his ring tone. What else would the ridiculous fucker choose?

The quick increase of anticipation coming from Peter stopped me in my tracks. He was entirely too wound up for this to be just another one of his fucking pranks.

_What the fuck is up his sleeve, now? _

Peter sat up straight, cleared his throat and made a poor attempt at adjusting his hair before finally picking up the phone. After a meaningful glance at the caller id, he made a show of shifting his shaggy hair from his right ear before bringing the phone to it to answer.

_That's it. It's official. Peter Whitlock is officially a few pickles shy a barrel. A few pickles too shy… Hell, he's well beyond the normal allowable capacity. This motherfucker's finally fuckin' popped. _

"Whitlock and Associates, this is Peter. How may I assist you on this fine day?"

"_Oh. Right. Peter. Is Jasper available, please?"_ I didn't have to be close enough to sense Carlisle's emotions to feel his confusion through the voice coming through the earpiece. He had no idea what this strange fucker was doing, either.

"May I ask who is calling, please?"

What. The. Fuck?

He knew damned well it was Carlisle. This fucking sexetary… er, um, secretary shit was getting far too outta hand.

I pounded my fist on the table with a growl and held my hand out for Peter to give me the phone. His eyes flickered towards me… finally a bit of the nervousness he should have been feeling all along was beginning to show. He knew I was wound tighter than a preacher's belt. Not the best time to piss me off…

"Oh, well, lookie here! It appears that Major Whitlock has had a sudden opening in his schedule. He'll be just delighted to speak to you, sir. You just have yourself a nice…"

I'd had enough of this shit. If Carlisle was calling, that meant possible news. I was chompin' at the bit to get out of this fucking house and finally **do** something. We had missing newborns. One of those newborns was going to be a huge part of our family, no matter what… Heaven knows the chances of Alice ever leaving the Cullens were nil. And the other newborn… she was the major unknown. I still hadn't figured out what it _was_ about her that haunted me. I just _needed_ her here.

Before Peter could finish his Dora Lee shit, I'd pulled the phone from his hand &amp; gave him a look that dared him to interfere.

_Shit, maybe a bit of a spar wouldn't be such a bad thing after this bit of news. Everybody's so nervous round here they're actin' like cats on a hot tin roof. _

"Carlisle…" I began.

_"No worries, Jasper, I understand. It's just… Peter,"_ he soothed over the phone line.

"Right. So, I'm assuming this isn't a purely social call."

_Please say it's not a social call. I'm fucking sick of social calls. How about a call to some mother fucking action for once! _

_"It isn't a social call, Son. I trust the three of you have had ample time to prepare the house for guests, correct?" _Carlisle's tone was making the hope in my chest rise.

Peter's 'na-na-na-boo-boo-stick-your-head-in-doo-doo feeling' was hitting epic levels, too.

_That fucker knew exactly what this phone call was. _

My own emotions gave me pause, but there wasn't time to 'Dr. Phil' myself – Sounds like we'd be finally getting off our asses and getting to work.

"Yes, Sir. The house is more than adequately prepared. We have ample room for the entire family, in addition to those of us already here and of course, The Swans; we even have a few rooms to spare. Pete &amp; Char really went above and beyond their norm with this place, it almost puts some of Esme's places to shame…"

"_Bite your tongue, young man!_" Esme's motherly tone chided through the earpiece.

I didn't have time to play house with these fuckers. They had information that I needed.

I growled out a response, "We will have more than enough room for ourselves and any _welcome_ visitors we may encounter during the rest of the Swans' newborn phase."

Carlisle ignored my obvious dismissal of his wife's poor attempt at humor. "_Well, that actually works in our favor, Son._"

Carlisle _never_ called me 'son' this much unless he was trying to soften the blow for something.

"Carlisle, the house is ready, perimeter thoroughly marked, only thing missing is the newborns we made this little play pen for," I paused long enough for Peter to snort in amusement. "Tell me you are calling with their whereabouts. This sitting around bullshit got old weeks ago. I don't know how much longer Peter's smart ass 'knower' and Alice's assurances are gonna be enough to keep me from tearing through each and every one of these mother fucking islands one by one until something comes up."

Again, the _diplomat_ overlooked my mounting rage. "_Perfect! Well, as it turns out, we will need those additional rooms, at least for a bit. Garrett &amp; Ty are headed your way with…"_

I growled.

_Just motherfucking wonderful. We aren't getting the Swans back, we get to play fucking innkeeper for motherfucking Carlisle's buddies. Of all the goddamned, asinine, stupid…_

Imagine my surprise when this time it was Carlisle's growl that cut off my own inner rant.

_Hm… Daddy C means business. _

_"Jasper, damnit. Just listen! I swear…."_Carlisle took a moment to inhale. I could just see the tense line of his shoulders and how his hands would be curled a bit more claw-like than the good doctor was normally comfortable with – normally this frustrated posture was saved for Emmett's worst pranks. This posture normally meant one thing, he'd decided to dust off the ol' backbone for a bit at least. "_As I was saying prior to your very rude interruption, Garrett and Tyrone are headed your way WITH CHARLIE &amp; ISABELLA SWAN."_

The stillness of the dining room was interrupted by the sharp intakes of both mine &amp; Charlotte's breath.

Peter sat filing his motherfucking nails.

Filing his motherfucking nails.

He took a glance up from those stupid fucking nails and smiled sweetly at me. "Well, Major Whitlock, it looks like your schedule has suddenly become quite filled."

**Bella POV**

Well. Huh.

_Guess this is what it feels like when my mega-vampy-brain has a major glitch. _

That was, unexpected. One minute, I'm eye-raping two of the sexiest pieces of vampire man meat to ever walk the earth (well, at least in my limited experience… but damn, if it gets better than Ty and Garrett….. then spontaneous combustion is surely in my future), and the next minute the aforementioned sexy vampires not only educate us on the major vampire rule crap, but also take all of about 2 seconds to figure out who put us in this… position? State? Condition? Fuck it, they figured out the assholes responsible for killing Dad &amp; I.

Dad obviously wanted to throw down. I get that he felt all paternal &amp; stuff. His anger was pretty expected.

My white hot rage, however, was not.

It seemed that my normal reaction of growling wasn't even sufficient for the level of pure hatred that I felt. I saw one of these motherfucking _Cullens_ kill my father before my very eyes. I saw him feeding on my dad and there wasn't a single thing I could do to stop him.

And the look that he gave me. That is a look that will haunt me for the remainder of my life, er, death, whatever. While I couldn't really describe every horrid thing I'd seen in his eyes, I'd never forget the moment of utter terror I felt as I watched the crazed being drop my father &amp; turn towards me. Everything about him had been terrifying. He had even had a fucking hard on! I thought for sure he was there to violate us… and violate he did. Just not in the ways that even the darkest parts of my mind had ever imagined.

When I finally focused outside of myself and my rage, the entire forest seemed to be shaking and a terrible hissing was surrounding me. A look at the men staring at me in both shock and a bit of terror told me that the movement and sound must be coming from me. In both embarrassment &amp; rage, I shot off to the west in desperate need to be alone with my wrath.

I didn't even bother to move around the trees in my path, deciding instead to run straight through them. The explosion that sounded as I burst through each tree was a symphony to my ears. My hands automatically shredded anything that they encountered.

With a scream, I stopped and grabbed my head in my shaking hands.

_How could we actually go and face these monsters? Would the one that attacked us be there? How exactly would that work out? I envision myself and my dad tearing him to itty bitty bits, but don't think that is how things would really work out. From what I understand, this is an entire coven of vampires, powerful ones at that. Wouldn't they rally to protect their own? Why would we even trust them anyway? What could going to them possibly do to help Dad &amp; I? And what of Garrett &amp; Ty? Whose side would they…_

With a start, I turned from my inner rants to the sound of a clearing throat. Dad was leaning against the trunk of a tree watching me. His face gave little away, but he didn't give me very long to analyze his expression.

"Are you done, Bells?"

His calm question only seemed to fuel my rage further.

"Am I DONE?! How are you not STARTED, Dad? We are going to the very 'family' of the man who did THIS to us! How do we even know that we'll be safe? This could be a trap! Or even if it isn't, why would we even go to those people in the first place? We are doing fine! We have each other! We've met Garrett &amp; Ty, surely they could help us! I don't understand, Dad!"

Dad remained calm. "Sweetheart, you know that I have only your best interest at heart, right?"

I offered a petulant nod. Dad stroked the long-lost-'stache.

"For some reason, I just know that we need to do this. I gotta trust my gut on this one, and I am asking you to do the same, sweetheart. I know that your instincts must be screamin' at you. I understand how scared you must be, Bells. But my own instincts are telling me that this is what we need to do. I don't know the 'why' behind it, but I am begging you to trust that I will keep you safe."

Dad _did_ have a point. His instincts had been guiding us perfectly so far. He'd kept us safe, kept us fed &amp; kept us away from humans. I had to trust that his instincts were right again.

"Alright, Dad. I'm with you. I won't lie and say that I'm happy about it, but I know that you will keep me safe. Just, don't get mad when I have my freak outs, okay? This doesn't feel quite right. I really think we'd be fine on our own. But I'll do this for you. I'm not doing it for any other reason other than the fact that I trust YOU, Dad. Sexiness aside, Garrett's word that they're good vampires doesn't mean shit to me."

Somehow, Dad was able to look both relieved and stressed at the same time. The odd combo left him looking somewhat constipated or gassy.

"Well, Bells, um, thanks, I guess. I really do appreciate your trust in me, sweetheart. I know it isn't easy and I can't tell you how much it means to me. See, the thing is, if you could please try to stop calling any man 'sexy', I would really appreciate it, okay? I know this stuff is new to both of us, but I don't know if my dad instincts combined with my vampire shit will let me to be even a little bit calm about that shit, baby girl. "

_Shit, didn't realize that little tidbit had slipped. Ooops. Damned teenage/vampire hormones! _

"Oh, um, right. Sure thing, Dad."

Dad grabbed me into a gruff hug and ruffled my already messy hair, sending sawdust, dirt and woodchips flying.

"Daa-AAd!" I mock-whined, landing a solid left hook in his arm.

"Shit, Bells! Reign that shit in a bit, okay? I might not bust apart like these wimpy hundred-plus year old evergreen trees, but that shit still hurts!"

"Well then, don't fuck with the windblown, fucked up, not washed hairdo I have going. It's all the rage &amp; you know how I hate going against fashion trends!"

Dad's boisterous laughter was a welcome sound as we locked arms and began a slow walk back through the destruction I'd wrought.

"Well, Hell, Bells. Looks like you still don't do things half assed huh? Whether it's scraping your knees on your first day of school or running thru trees, my girl always goes balls to the wall, huh?"

_Scraping my hands and knees on the first day of school…. _

_I bled like crazy. Blood. So much blood. _

_Dad had been surrounded in my blood when he was attacked by the Cullen vampire._

With a start, I looked at Dad and began to tug on his arm, "Didn't Garrett say that the Cullen vampires only ate animals?"

"Yes, he did, Bells. Why?"

I began to speed up, tugging Dad along.

"We weren't exactly the type of _animals_ they were supposed to have been eating, are we, Dad? I want to know what the fuck happened!" I increased my speed and let go of my dad's arm as his speed began to surpass my own.

His tone was nearly jubilant as he hollered back to me, "THERE'S my girl! That's my spitfire!"

I wanted to scoff at Dad's statement, but couldn't really. His little talk had reminded me that we didn't have to hide. We _needed_ to find out why this happened to us. As long as we were together, I guess it didn't really matter.

_Dad &amp; I are a package deal, now. He goes, I go &amp; shit like that_.

This 'newborn vampire phase' (as it had been described by Garrett) had been frightening, to be sure, but it had also been an experience beyond anything I could have imagined, and I'm not even talking about the vampy stuff. I had kinda figured that I'd move to Forks, graduate &amp; then just move on with my life &amp; try to keep a low profile where my parents were concerned. Based on Renee's manipulations, I figured it'd be the best option for me, the 'accidental child', to let them actually finally live without me being a burden.

Now, through some sort of really twisted twists of fate, I had discovered my DADDY. I'd always know that I'd had a father. Hell, _everyone_ has a father – the man that donates the sperm to form the life. But until this time with my own dad, I was unaware that I'd had a loving dad all along. Unfortunately for us, we were both so awkward at showing and sharing our feelings that we'd lost some important time.

But now we had forever. I'm sure at some point it would become a bit of a pain in the ass, as being too close with one's parent might be prone to becoming. I mean, what if I actually pursued any of these lusty feeling for either Ty or Garrett? Not that I could with Dad around constantly, but an eternity as a virgin would suck beyond any and all sucking in the history of suckage.

And god-forbid DAD actually tried to 'get it on' –

_Ewwwww! sonnova…. Change that train of thought right now, Isabella Marie!_

No, I knew now that Dad &amp; I were a package deal. A 'buy-one-get-one' special, if you will. With an eternity spread before us, surely we could figure out some way of allowing one another privacy without being too far apart.

The thought of not having my daddy scared the ever-loving-*proverbial*-shit out of me.

_Huh, guess I'm a daddy's girl finally. This is a damned fine feeling. _

Just as Dad knew deep down that the Cullen lead was something that we had to pursue, I knew deep down that no matter what, my dad would be there for me, to protect me; even from the mysterious Cullen vamps.

Our pace slowed as we reached Garrett &amp; Ty, who seemed to be in their own conversation. They both looked in our direction and shut up real quick, which always lets one know when they are being talked about.

_Wonder if they are talking about Dad, me, or the both of us and our weird situation &amp; behavior? Or maybe me… and them… maybe they'll have to fight over me. Without shirts. Damn the luck. I would eventually tell them not to fight… but… oh, what a beautiful -_

_FUCK! Focus, Bella. Bad Cullens. Answers. Dad. Dad is here. _

_DAD is HERE! Ewww. _

_Phew. Relief and disgust. Awesome and yet strange… _

I wondered for the thousandth time if I'd ever get control of the cavernous and vast and fast vampire brain thingy.

I hoped so.

"How soon can we leave?" Dad asked. He was in 'Police Chief' mode. This mode wasn't nearly as scary when it wasn't pointed at me. It didn't appear to strike fear into the hearts of our new 'friends' like it did with me, but I could tell that they held Dad in some sort of respect. That could only be a good thing. At least I hoped so.

I hoped a lot of things these days, it seemed.

"We can leave immediately, if you'd like," Garrett stated. He seemed a bit cautious, but it seemed to be aimed at me, for some reason. Odd. Or, was it perhaps wise with the hair-trigger that my temper seemed to be on? When Dad got mad, at least he didn't totally fly off the handle like I did. If the inside of his mind was anything like mine, then his control was totally crazy good.

Dad had always been a pretty mellow dude, I guess.

At least I'd never seen too many of his emotions. I used to be good at keeping mine in check, too. I _used_ to be a pretty 'level headed kid' according to my mother. Of course, compared to Renee, the logic of a two year old would be pretty damned sound.

But, truly, I'd never been one for drama or throwing stupid, juvenile fits. Now it seemed that all I did was throw my emotions everywhere. It was so strange and disorienting.

_If only I could calm these damned emotions, I could focus! Dad needs me to be focused right now and all of my stupid inner monologue crap is making me miss some important shit! Damnit! I can't stay on one train of thought and my inability to concentrate like I used to is making me even more emotional! _

_Fucking never-ending cycle. _

_Huh, cycles. At least I don't have to worry about THAT anymore. Never liked my stupid period. Or the PMS. Most especially, the smell of the blood. The only blood I have to worry about is the blood that I drink. _

_Shit. Blood. Drink. _

"Dad," I interrupted whatever (probably important) thing they were talking about.

He truly should be canonized. My dad had the patience of a friggin' saint. At least when it came to me, anyway.

_Wonder how I'd missed his fatherly love &amp; devotion to me all of these years? _

_Guess Renee had done more of a number on me than I'd figured out yet. _

_I wonder if there is such a thing as a vampire therapist? I could totally go for a few sessions. _

_I could really go for some sleep, too. Or at least a bed… wonder what it would feel like to lie in fresh, crisp, - _

"What is it, Bells?" Dad asked, ignoring the older two vampires.

_Seriously – hand over the tangent crown now. I win. No contest. _

"I need to hunt again. I really need to," I was unable to keep the whine from my tone.

_Man, do I feel like a friggin' baby. _

_I guess I am a newborn, right? I wonder who came up with that phrase, anyway? Kind of odd, if you ask.._

"Me too, Bells. Let's head out &amp; we can find something on the way. These islands are full of life, so we will have no problems getting some 'take out'. I really feel like we need to get moving. So, let's grab the shit from the shop that we want to keep &amp; get going."

Again, Dad rubbed the long-gone 'stache. He was really either bothered by something or there was something that he couldn't quite figure out. I knew he would tell me when he did figure it out. Dad &amp; I had kind of figured out how hard secrets were to keep from one another once we got started sharing with each other. There wasn't much about either of our lives that we hadn't discussed with one another before meeting Ty &amp; Garrett. It was safe to say that I knew Dad as well as I knew myself at that point. Our time alone had really been eye opening and precious.

_I don't know if I am ready for all these new vampires. I really want to just stay here with Dad. But Dad needs this. He wouldn't ask if he didn't feel like he had to. Dad has done everything he can to help and protect me since we woke to this 'life'. If he needs to follow 'the Cullen Lead' as he wants to call it, then I'll buck the fuck up and do it for my daddy. _

_As long as the asshole feeds me soon. _

My inner rant had kept me from paying attention to whatever the guys were talking about again. Whatever it was that they'd been talking about, I wasn't sure. Whatever the topic, they seemed to have finished &amp; were already starting to head northwest. Before long, we'd reached full speed as well as the rocky shore of whatever island we happened to have been on for the past several days. With glorious leaps, Garrett &amp; Ty jumped far out into the frigid water, Dad &amp; I hot on their heels.

The water felt magnificent after my last temper tantrum. The sawdust and woodchips were sloughing quickly out of my hair and off of my body as we blasted through the water. I was certain that we would be at our destination in no time. Dad &amp; I had been purposefully aimless in our initial wanderings so that we would hopefully be able to throw off the vampires we'd woken up with. While I didn't get to see the two guys that were in Dad's room, he said that they were pretty scarred up and scary. Sounded like the blonde girl in my room. She seemed okay, but the scars were some scary shit.

_I can't imagine what I would have done if I'd woken up with two strange, scarred, scary men in my room. I probably would have died all over again from fright, even if the Sexy Professor said that we had to be torn apart and burned to die. Pretty sure I could still die from fright. If ever a vampire could, it'd be my luck it was me… _

_So the wolfy legends were at least good for some info for us as vamps. Thanks to the legends, we'd known all along to avoid ripping each other apart &amp; burning the pieces. _

_Too bad Dad was still mad at Billy for the lie of omission. At least by letting Dad hear that stuff, he was able to guide us somewhat well so far. We knew what kind of life we wanted to live and would be able to live based on those legends. _

Dad was always protecting me, if even from myself.

_Hell, with Dad's stupid crazy control, he could probably waltz right up to a human and kiss them square on the mouth without batting an eye. Me, I can't go ten minutes without throwing some sort of fit that makes me even hungrier. _

_Hungry. _

_Shit. _

_Still so hungry. _

While most of the fish in the water tended to stay the hell out of our way, the dogfish, as Dad had called them, were pretty ballsy little fuckers. As far as I could tell, they just looked like baby sharks. They didn't seem to feel the need to hurry away as fast as the rest of the underwater fauna. They seemed almost intrigued by us as we zoomed by and didn't seem to feel the need to flee.

Well, you know what they say about curiosity, right? Well, this time, it didn't kill the cat, but rather the dogfish.

Dad &amp; I had taken to racing any time we entered the water and had quickly overtaken the older vampires. Perhaps not the wisest choice, since they were supposed to be showing us where to go.

Our lead allowed me to snag a dogfish mid-stroke. Without breaking my stride, I brought the squirmy fish, shark, whatever, to my mouth and began to drink. It wasn't half bad. Sure, I was still plenty hungry, but at least I'd found some take out like Dad had suggested.

I grabbed another after letting the first float from my grasp, again keeping my pace. I looked to my left to see Dad only to see that I was alone. With panic in my throat, I stopped and immediately dropped my prey. I turned quickly to see Dad, Garrett &amp; Ty, several hundred feet back (375.14 feet, damnit) all looking at me with shock.

I zoomed back to Dad and surfaced, signaling that he do the same. He did and was followed by our new pals, Mr. Basketball &amp; Sexy Professor.

"What's wrong, Dad? Why did we stop? Did I miss something?"

My panic was rising again and Dad was quick to put a calming hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong, Bella. I just didn't know how serious you were about that take out. I think you just caught us all by surprise with your snack choice, is all."

"That's one way to put it," Garrett chuckled. Dad &amp; Ty were quick to join in.

Juvenile or not, I splashed all of them in the face with one fell swoop before diving back down to resume my swim and my hunt as well.

_Assholes. Thanks for laughing at my expense. I'm fucking hungry here and if I don't eat soon, someone is losing some sort of limb. _

Ty &amp; Garrett retook the lead, Dad &amp; I staying a bit behind. This time he joined me and grabbed a dogfish as well. He didn't seem to have so much humor in his eyes when his own hunger was slightly abated.

Dad had a tendency to overlook himself sometimes, it seemed.

_Once again, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I guess. _

At least I used to be good at taking care of others. I wasn't really showing much of that lately. I hoped that one day I would be able to be as patient and calm as Dad had been with me. He really was solid. Solid as a rock.

_And now another song gets stuck in my head. Damnit! I really miss my I-pod! What normal 17 year old gets goddamned Ashford &amp; Simpson stuck in their head! _

_For that matter, what kind of normal girl is a dogfish eating vampire? Guess the whole 'normal' ship sailed for me LONG ago. _

With my thoughts and arms racing, I grabbed another dogfish to drain as we made our way towards whatever uncertain future awaited us. I was scared. Scared shitless. I didn't love the whole 'unknown' factor that these Cullens had. But I did love my dad.

So, scared shitless or not, we continued on. Each stroke lead us closer to something big, of that I was certain.

_Lookout Cullens, here come the motherfucking Swans. _

I glanced once more at Dad, who was draining another dogfish. His face was all business. I'm sure that if we weren't currently blasting through the frigid waters of the Puget Sound at lightening speeds, he would be stroking that damned upper lip of his, lost in thought and totally into his cop mode.

_Fuck yes. Time to lock and load, bitches. _

**Alice POV**

The ride home from school used to be at least tolerable. We all used to be relieved to escape the monotony of the school day.

Ever since _that day_ we hadn't had a peaceful car ride home. Not once.

_Fucking Edward. Thank you for fucking everything up so profoundly. Thank you for taking my mate away from me. And most of all, I'd like to thank you for shitting on our relationship by completely and utterly ignoring the most important advice I'd ever given you. _

My internal sigh was met with a scoff in my direction from Edward in the rearview mirror.

_ I thought better of you, Edward. I really, truly did. I'm really more disappointed than mad. _

That got him. When I looked back into the mirror at him, his posture in the back seat was no longer completely arrogant and proud. He hated to disappoint.

_Fucking golden child. _

_Bet he never disappointed his birth parents. Fucking sissy probably did any and everything that his mommy ever told him. _

Once again, the ability to keep my surface thoughts focused on my 'disappointment' at Edward kept him from seeing what I truly thought of him. I was going to kill him if given half an opportunity. Once our family was in the clear, he was fair game as far as my siblings and I were concerned.

Emmett &amp; Rose had an altogether different thing going on. They wouldn't stop looking at me with pity and concern. They both knew the pain of being separated from one's mate. I knew they were worried about me, but the pity party needed to stop.

With a squeal of the brakes, I purposely yarded a bit harder on the emergency brake than was necessary. While childish &amp; spiteful, we all took any opportunity to abuse Edward's precious Volvo without being totally obvious about it.

Rose figured his brakes had another week, tops. Less if I kept up my petty acts.

_Wonder if I can cut that time in half? Might as well see if I can't blow out a tire or two while I'm at it. I can't' be expected to be completely rational while being separated from my mate, right?_

Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that I was being quite irrational without my mate.

_Not much longer though!_

My 'New York' vacation was due to start in just five days and with Emmett's recent epiphany about Charlie &amp; I being mates, I had no doubt that Esme &amp; Carlisle would insist I leave immediately.

I couldn't find it in myself to argue any more.

**_*Vision*_**

**_Charlie &amp; Bella were running through the trees with Garrett &amp; his young friend Ty. All of them came to a sudden stop at Garrett's hand signal. _**

**_"Okay, here's where you two stay, Garrett &amp; I will go on &amp; meet up with these Cullens. We'll come back when it's all clear." Charlie stated. _**

**God, but he was sexy when he took charge.**

**_He grabbed Bella in a tight hug. She hugged back, clearly unwilling to let go. _**

**_*End Vision*_**

They were so close now that I could feel the love through my vision. That was a rare thing indeed. My mate &amp; his daughter had finally been able to form the relationship that they had been too long denied.

The Swan case had been closed with the Forks Police Department. Carlisle had been very thorough in his cover-up and no foul play was suspected. Our family was in the clear.

This was it. I _knew_ that within the hour I would be completely packed and headed to Jervis Inlet and my future. My mate.

For the first time in what felt like forever, I was at peace.

After our brief family meeting, I would load my Porsche 911 Turbo with a small part of my wardrobe and the *ahem* department store clothing for Charlie &amp; Bella.

I would just make it in time for the show.

Too bad none of us could eat popcorn!

_**AN: Thanks again for reading! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**_AN: Standard disclaimers apply - I don't own these characters &amp; I make no money from writing about 'em. I'm just doin' this for the fun of it. And maybe the occasional review. Also - BetterInTexas is the bestest pre-reader around. Well... Lady Vader sometimes gives him a run for his money... _**

Chapter 11

**Bella POV**

I was right. Our return trip to the place of our fantastic escape was much shorter than our run from it.

_The shortest distance between two spaces is a straight line. Isn't that what I learned in geometry? _

Well, here we were, back where our 'vampire adventure' had started. We'd already covered all of the water between us and our ultimate destination. We'd already scaled the cliffs that we'd leapt from in our haste to depart. We'd already run across a very obvious scent border. Garrett said that scent was the way that vampires marked their territory.

I could clearly distinguish three different scents. Two of the scents set my hairs on end. They bothered me, even though I could tell that one was that of the scarred blonde female who greeted me upon my awakening to this life. The third scent seemed to speak to me. It somehow called to me and made my already in-overdrive hormones go even crazier. Whatever that smell was, I wanted to bottle it &amp; sell it, and yet I also wanted keep it all to myself and roll around in it for eternity.

It made my mouth water. Literally.

Minutes ago, Dad &amp; Garrett had left Ty &amp; I alone in a small clearing so that they could go and 'get a feel for things' before we approached the coven of vampires. I knew it was all for my benefit. Ty &amp; Garrett had no reason to fear anyone at what we'd learned was actually the Whitlock coven's place. They already knew everyone that was supposed to be here. Dad &amp; I were the only unknowns in this situation. We had already formed a fine coven by ourselves as far as I was concerned. We were the Swan Coven. It had a nice ring to it.

We didn't really need another coven, and yet, apparently we were already involved with more vampire covens than we knew. First there was the Cullens, whose fuck up had fast tracked Dad &amp; I to immorality. Then the Whitlocks, whose territory we'd just entered. Apparently, according to the ever gossipy Garrett, this supposed 'bad ass vampire' Jasper (yeah, a name like that really sounds bad ass) had, like, joint membership in both the Whitlock &amp; Cullen covens. And of course, last but certainly not least, the Sex Squad. I figured that was an apt name for Garrett &amp; Ty's coven. They didn't officially consider themselves a coven, but from what I'd learned, a coven lived and traveled together, depending on each other for company at the very least. By my calculations, that made Garrett &amp; Ty a coven. Since they were obviously not a couple (no matter how sexy I thought it sounded) and also **obviously** weren't biologically related, I figured "Sex Squad" worked. Ty was far too independent to take on another man's name and Garrett was far too proud and old fashioned. So, Sex Squad it was.

_Not that I'd ever tell those arrogant, sexy assholes what coven name I'd given them. _

My mind focused on 'The Sex Squad' and my mouth began to water as my olfactory senses again locked in on that enticing third scent. Cinnamon, leather, the smell of a summer storm and a hint of sweet pipe tobacco all fused together to make for an amazingly beautiful combination that had my hormones in overdrive, yet again raging.

_Shit. I'm in fucking hormone overdrive with a charter member of the mother fucking Sex Squad and no dad around to stop me. _

_Shit. _

_No Dad. _

_No Dad around to stop me. Mmmmm. The possibilities! _

_Fuck. There are possibilities. Eep!_

Luckily I was able to keep my scared vocalizations in my mind only. I didn't need to look like a total doofus here. My nervousness and my, um, hormones combined in a heady combination. I almost felt high from the feelings coursing through me.

For not the first time, I was terrified of the emotions that raged through my mind and body. I'd been doing my level best to keep myself away from the sex-on-a-stick companions that Dad &amp; I had been traveling with. I was incredibly turned on and I had no idea on earth what to do about it. This scent had me in overdrive. If I were still human, I had no doubt that I would be breathing rapidly, heart racing and probably, because I'm the lucky sort, I'd be sweating up a storm. Then there would be my blush. I'm certain that a vine ripe summer tomato would have nothing on my shade of red.

_Yay for not blushing._

I had no idea how to even try to be sexy. My hair was crazy knotted up and what I'd seen of my reflection in the water showed my eyes were orange. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic. But I'd seen the looks that both men had given me when Dad wasn't looking. . They seemed to see past the dirt &amp; grime. Either that or they were just really hard up. I doubted that was the case though. In fact, I clearly remember Ty starting to tell a pervy story about the other veggie coven they'd visited recently.

Maybe he was just a player. I could totally see that being the case. It was beyond obvious that he'd been a fantastic physical specimen even before the burn of the venom. He had the kind of cocky swagger that didn't just happen overnight, it was a trait that had been engrained in him over a period of years. It wasn't hard to imagine beautiful woman falling at his feet. He knew that he was sexy and had known it for a long, long time.

I knew that he had experience where I was sorely lacking. And for whatever reason, my plain-jane ass appealed to him. And there was that smell that was driving me absolutely mad.

_Dad won't stay gone forever. The 'orgasm obstructer' isn't here to stop me! _

I tried to take a casual glance in Ty's direction with little luck. His eyes were intense and sexy and they were trained on me, surely he could see how awkward I was. He gave me a very deliberate look up and down, licking his lips in what appeared to me to be anticipation.

_Wow. A total sex god standing right in front of me and he's looking at me like THAT. Maybe I don't even HAVE to know what to do. Maybe awkward isn't a total turn off? _

**_Wait._**

_He. Licked. His. Lips._

_He looked directly at me and licked his delicious, chocolate lips. Mmmmm. Fuck. _

_I want to lick those lips, too. _

_Fuck it. Horny now, worry later. _

With (what I hoped was) a seductive lick of my lips, I peered at Ty again, this time from under my lashes. He held my gaze, but didn't move from his spot. I felt trapped in a delicious sort of way. We were alone for the first time, like, ever.

_Why is he just standing there? He clearly likes what he sees. Am I misreading this? Has my complete &amp; total lack of experience caused me to make a fool of myself? _

_Shit. _

_Please don't tell me he's waiting for me to make the first move. I don't even HAVE any moves! _

Before I could worry any further, Ty appeared in front of me with the speed found only in the supernatural world. He leaned in and took a long, deep sniff.

_Fucking stupid vampire senses! Of course he can smell just how excited I am. Perhaps this will work to my advantage… _

Pressing my palm against his sculpted chest, I took the last step and closed the remaining distance between our bodies. This was the closest I'd ever been to a man besides hugging relatives or tripping into someone by accident. This was purposeful, potentially sexual contact.

_Finally! _

The combination of my teenage hormones, vampire hormones &amp; massive mood swings had left me in a continually heightened sense of arousal and I was sick and tired of it. Ty was going to help me finally ease this tension that I'd felt since awakening to this life, which seemed to be increasing by the millisecond. If Ty didn't hurry up, I might explode!

Dad had no idea what kind of pure torment my more embarrassing 'urges' had been for me lately. Hunting aside, it was plenty easy to ignore my more _primal_ urges when it was just Dad &amp; I traveling together; when it was just the Swan Coven. Hopefully we could sort this mess out with the Cullens, Whitlocks, whoever and then be on our way, the two of us. In the meantime, a member of the Sex Squad was pressed against me in a most delicious manner. I could feel his excitement against my abdomen.

_Finally!_

"You got no idea how damn good I can make you feel little girl."

Okay, so it wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear my first time being in this close proximity to a purely sexual being like Ty, but at this point, I didn't fucking care anymore. I knew that I spontaneous combustion was a real possibility if I didn't get some **help** soon.

I had to look up to see his handsome face, but it was worth it. His eyes were red hot molten lava and they were turning me on more than his hands, which were grazing up and down my sides. Each pass, he moved his thumbs more and more onto the sides of my breasts. With each movement closer to my aching breasts, his eyes got darker and darker, nearing black.

_Finally!_

_Is this first base? We haven't kissed yet, so did we skip a step? Does it count if my shirt is still on? _

_Does it matter? Stop overthinking, dumbass! You're getting felt up! _

**_Finally!_**

I began to rise up on my toes to meet him half way for what I was sure was going to be the mother of all first kisses, when suddenly, Ty froze.

I barely had time to wonder at his pause before I heard two growls and an amused chuckle. One growl belonged to my dad. Easily recognizable, he'd been sure to use it quite often enough since meeting Garrett &amp; Ty. Any potential moves on his baby girl were apparently, not allowed and warranted totally agro-cave man behavior. This particular growl of Dad's seemed a bit more pissed than I had heard since the day we'd met our travel companions. Okay, maybe I'd never heard him **quite** this pissed off.

Slowly, I turned in Ty's arms to face the music. Dad was already pissed. What was he going to do, anyway? Ground me? Ha! I wouldn't want to disrespect him, but I wouldn't be treated like a little girl. I'd always be his little girl, but unfortunately, unlike most other girls living with their dads, mine happened to have supernatural speed and senses. It's like he had a fucking built in radar for my potential to get some. Lay-dar, perhaps?

_Cockblocker. Just wait, Dad… you'll get yours! What's good for the goose is good for the gander; isn't that what Grandma Swan always used to say? _

Seeing the utter fury clear on my face, Dad's growl eased up a bit. However, the other vampire did not stop growling, which seemed to make the third, Chuckles, laugh even more. Turning my gaze to the growly blonde vampire in my peripheral vision, I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips. At the exact moment I inhaled, the breeze stirred, blowing the scents of the Dad, Blondie &amp; Chuckles into my mouth and onto my taste buds.

_Finally!_

The scent that had been calling to me since we'd entered the "Whitlock Territory" belonged to the blonde sex god standing before me. His fierce, black eyes that peered from underneath tousled, slightly curly blonde hair seemed to pierce my soul. He fixed his gaze on my orange eyes that were round with surprise and I could feel my own oddly colored eyes darkening by the second. I quickly roved over his physic, noting how perfectly every single bit of him just _fit._ His broad shoulders lead to a torso that Abercrombie models would kill for and the worn denim that molded to his long, powerful legs left little to my vivid imagination. What I could see of his skin was littered with what appeared to be bite marks, similar to the blonde woman that I'd awoken with, but this man's scars didn't scare me. They actually kind of turned me on even more, if that were possible.

Without conscious thought, I began moving from Ty's embrace toward the blonde stranger. His growl lessened slightly as Ty's arms slipped from my sides. Inhaling again, I relished the taste of him on my tongue &amp; began a new sort of rumble in my chest.

_Huh, that's a new sound. _

The new sound emanating from my chest almost reminded me of neighborhood cat, Butch, that used to visit me in Phoenix; Butch loved to snuggle and would hop on my lap, his body immediately vibrating with a purr in reaction my cuddles. His fur was so soft, used to soothe me so much…

_Wait! What the fuck? I can growl, hiss and now PURR! Who fucking designed us vampires? Animal noises &amp; fairy sparkles…_

The sound of Blondie's deliberate inhalation brought me from my internal ramblings. While lost in my own thoughts, Blondie &amp; I had come closer to one another. I could feel him, even though no part of our bodies touched. It was almost like my body was humming in response to his close proximity.

_Hum, purr, whatever. Still reminds me of ol' Butchy… _

Tasting him on the air yet again, I started to lean in.

_Perhaps a small taste? Would he taste as divine with my tongue touching his skin? Better, I'm sure, much, much better…_

As my tongue left my mouth to wet my lips with the copious amounts of venom pooling behind my teeth, I found myself no longer in front of my Blondie. I was suddenly behind **_my father_** who I'd decided must truly be running for some sort of cock-blocker-of-the-mother-fucking-world title. I reacted to my sheer and utter rage before I had even really registered the emotion.

All growling in the area had ceased, with the exception of my own, and I stared as I dropped Dad's still moving ARM from my grasp.

The sound of tearing metal rang in my ears as Dad began to hiss in pain.

_What. The. Holy. Fuck. Did. I. Just. DO?!_

While a majority of my mind demanded that I run away, a smaller and more insistent part of my mind knew that I couldn't leave Daddy. My legs buckled and I collapsed behind the man I'd just maimed, my own flesh and blood, and I covered my face with my hands as I sobbed.

_What kind of slut am I turning in to? First I'm about to totally jump Ty and I was more than happy about that. Next thing I know, some stranger shows up and I am panting like a dog in heat and wanting to lick him like a canine as well! And the pièce de résistance? Meh, nothing too fancy, I just tear off my dad's arm when he tries to protect me from my own harlot ways. _

The sobbing didn't bring the relief of tears and I began to sob harder. I didn't know what was happening to me! Sure, the vampire thing was kinda crazy and all that, but thought, anger issues aside, I'd kinda started to get the hang of the whole 'undead' thing. But then the Sex Squad shows up and throws me all outta whack. That was enough to try and process. Thought I'd started to come to grips with the fact that I was more than willing to throw my virginity at the first vampire that was willing to catch it. Never in a million years did I think that just the smell of a man would render me slutty, wanton, brainless and happy about it. I would have willing allowed this man to do anything to me and wouldn't have cared in the least. At least with Ty &amp; Garrett, I had a few 'never gonna happen' things on my list no matter how horny I'd been. But this man? His mere presence inspired me to give myself to him completely to do with as he chose. I _needed_ to be close to him. His smell beckoned me. 'Cause of course you can know everything about a person with smell, right? I mean what the fuck?

Lost in my own musings, I failed to notice that Chuckles was moving closer to Dad.

"Boy howdy! Major, this filly don't fool around!" His jovial tone helped to stop my pity party. I wanted to main Chuckles instead.

_This mother fucking asshole is mocking me. _

My answering growl brought the asshole's attention back to me. "Easy there, hellcat. Unless you know how to help put your daddy's arm back to where it belongs, I suggest you retract those claws. I'm tryin' to help out here, but attitude like that ain't gonna get me movin' any faster. You don't wanna make the Chief hurt any longer just 'cause you're feelin' crotchety, do ya?" That stupid drawl of his was pissing me off even more. At that point, I would have given anything to wipe the smug look of humorous superiority off of Chuckle's stupid face.

_But, ARE you going to put Dad's arm back on? How would one even go about doing something like that? _

I grabbed a handful of my knotted hair and pulled it as hard as I dared to help me focus and force the growls from my throat. I nodded, not trusting myself to look back at Chuckles. My emotional rollercoaster had me so twisted that I was ready to fight, fuck or gorge myself. Or maybe all three. I just knew that I was so close to exploding or breaking down in one way or another that I _needed_ to block Chuckles out or I was going to go crazy.

_Oh, because tearing off your dad's arm for stopping you from molesting multiple men is the epitome of sane, right, Bells? _

The sarcastic inner Bella was really starting to piss me off.

_Calm, Bella. Calm. _

Chancing a look at my dad, I saw Chuckles licking the space where his arm should have been attached to his body. Sometimes I really missed the ability to vomit.

The desire to vomit quickly lead my mind down the path of 'human things lost to Bella' and anguish began to take hold of me again. Dad was no longer hissing, his sounds of pain were indescribable and pushed me further into the abyss. The emotional fall from the heights that I'd felt just before Dad had picked me up and moved to the point that I was now was just too much. How could I soar so high and crash so hard? I felt myself wanting to slip away but knowing that I'd never sleep again. I just wanted to be consumed by blackness to forget, if only for a while.

The hum of my body alerted me to his presence before he wrapped me in his arms &amp; pulled me onto his lap. His smell invaded my senses and I began to relax into his firm, chiseled chest and in doing so I touched his bare forearm. Without warning, the hum that I'd felt at his mere proximity burst into a delicious burn that spread through my body and seared my soul. A million tiny suns burst under my marble skin and I felt a part of myself heal. It was as if a part of my soul had been torn from me before birth and I'd lived without it until this very moment. I'd functioned just fine without it, this missing piece of my being, never realizing just how _complete_ that piece would make me. Now that I'd touched this beautiful stranger, I knew what complete felt like and it was amazing.

For a moment, the world around me ceased to exist. I wasn't a wanton hussy who'd been tryin' to throw the tang around. I wasn't a vicious monster who would truly hurt the one person who'd probably loved me the most in my short 17 years. I wasn't feeling the burn in my throat from the blood that my new body required. I was just a girl sitting with her soul mate.

_Fucking sappy. I'm turning into a lovesick fool over a man who I know nothing about. What the fuck, Bella?! _

And even as part of my mind raged at how illogical this whole 'soul mate' thing was and how there was no way that a single touch could complete me like some stupid romance novel, I simply couldn't find it in myself to care.

**Jasper POV**

Once again I found myself in the dining room. Waitin' for the Chief &amp; his daughter to arrive was perhaps more taxing than not knowing where they were. Waitin' was not one of my strong points and waitin' for the nomads to bring our charges back had tested what minute amount of patience I actually had. Char had somehow conned Peter and I into a game of canasta to try and pass the time.

_This is bullshit. I'm the motherfucking Major of the Southern Wars. I am a feared vampire the world over, and here I sit on my ass waiting for others to complete my current mission objective. And I'm playing a fucking card game. _

Peter's internal level of amusement had only increased since we'd received word from Carlisle. He knew somethin' big was up. If he started to ooze any more merriment, his safety wasn't a guarantee. Char could feel my tension, as could Peter, and she tried to rein her mate in. She _tried._ More than once she'd watched Peter annoy beyond the point of limb removal.

Normally insubordination such as this wouldn't be tolerated. Yes, Peter was my friend and brother. But he was also my captain and as such the lack of communication was unacceptable. As far as I was concerned, he was neglecting his duties and I had a mind to rip his head from his shoulders if only to get a break from his emotions that clashed with mine so violently.

_So why haven't you beheaded the sorry fucker yet? What has you so spellbound that you're deviating from long established behavior?_

I knew the answer, even if I was loathing admitting it to myself. It was that damned smell. The newborn Isabella, with whom I'd had no interaction, had left such a beguiling scent behind that I found myself off centered. I refused to admit it to my companions, but felt that Peter's goddamned attitude had something to do with my recent unease.

_Once I know what is actually going on, both Alice and Peter will have some serious explaining to do. They cannot look to me for leadership in instances such as these if they aren't willing to give me all information pertinent to every situation that arises. _

_Fucking all of them know better too. _

Pete, Char &amp; Alice had all looked to me for leadership during various scenarios and had always been perfect soldiers. All seemed to know that communication was key.

_So why have they forgotten it now? What could be so important that the three of them would potentially invoke my wrath? _

Foreign emotions began to flitter at the edge of my gift, alerting me to two vampires rapidly approaching.

_Finally!_

Our charges were near. I could feel confidence and cordial feeling from one of the beings, while the other exuded caution, anger and curiosity. I recognized the latter signature as that of the Chief. He wasn't as livid as he'd been upon awakening, but his control at such a young age was still something to be admired. I'd not felt many newborns being as fearless when being introduced to new vampires. Yes, he was cautious, but I felt that he was more concerned with his daughter, as was the case before. He seemed to have left her behind to feel out the situation.

Not feeling any more approaching, I rose to my feet as my cocky fucking Captain shot me another smug grin. Char shot us each a cautious glance before gently folding her cards &amp; rising smoothly to her feet.

_It's go time, fuckers!_

"Fall in. The Swans have arrived; rather, the Chief has arrived. He's feeling cautious, so you **will** let me run point and you **will** shut the fuck up. Captain, this goes especially for you. The last thing we need is your stupid ass to spook him and have them run off again. Isabella is not with him, so until we have the both of them secured and comfortable, I expect you to act your fucking age. Captain, should any more of your fuckery result in even the slightest hiccup in this operation, you will be quickly reminded why I am the most feared vampire in The South," I growled out. I couldn't stand to just sit and wait any more. This fuck up of Edwards had inadvertently brought me out of the passive slumber I'd allowed myself to slip into over the past fifty years with the Cullen Coven. I hadn't realized how much I missed having a mission, a purpose.

_Well, I have one now and I'll be damned if I let some asshole that's dumber than a box of hair fuck it up for me. _

This was important. I wasn't sure why it was so important, but I felt it at a cell deep level. Did Isabella's scent have something to do with it? Perhaps she was just a mystery I needed to solve. I had no love for the unknown. Or was this just The Major making his reappearance? Was my inner beast tired of lying dormant while I played the role of a child? Did I just need an objective? Was my inner soldier just aching for action?

_Why the fuck am I so discombobulated. I am a master of emotions. So why the fuck am I so confounded by my own lately?_

Hopefully the arrival of the Swans would help to figure out whatever mystery had befallen my psyche.

The three of us left the dining room to stand on the front porch and await our arrivals. I really hoped that Peter would watch his shit. I didn't really fancy tearing him limb from limb, but I was at the end of my rope.

Garrett and the Chief came through the trees at the same time. The Chief's control still astounded me. Somehow, from the time that I'd initially felt his approach, he'd somehow been able to completely rid himself of anger. The caution he felt had increased tenfold, but that is something I would expect of a much older vampire. Newborns in his situation would most often be snarling and dribbling venom down their teeth in rage or running in fear. The Chief and his control were certainly a mystery.

And his control was certainly to be admired. Somehow, it seemed that he'd been able to abstain from human blood. His eyes were a brilliant shade of orange, indicating that he was well on his way to having the golden eyes that was indicative of all vegetarian vampires.

"Whitlock?" the Chief queried.

"Welcome back, Chief Swan. You had us quite worried runnin' off like that," it felt wrong to coddle him, but even with as level headed as he seemed, I didn't wanna spook him until the situation was well within my control. At that point, perhaps I'd train the fucker to fight just so that I could wallop on his ass.

"Cut the shit, Whitlock. I am not going to apologize for doing what I thought was best to protect my daughter. I am still not even sure why agreed to come back to see you fuckers, seeing what your family did to my Bells &amp; I. Fact is, you lot can help my daughter and I to make sure we keep our shit straight. Once we are sure we're good, I doubt Bella &amp; I will hang around. Don't know how well you'd like me or my daughter after we met the _brother_ that killed us. Matter of fact; don't think you'd even have to worry about me too much. My Hells Bells has more than enough anger to take that prissy little fucker on. Always did think there was something wrong with a boy that looked so goddamned pretty…"

I had to stop him there. No way was he even going to begin to trust me or my true family if he thought that we were going to protect Edward. He needed to know right away what we thought about cowardly shit like that.

"Chief, we would not have had you brought back under friendly pretenses if we agreed in any way with Edward &amp; his callous attack on you and your daughter. We don't condone shit like that and you can rest assured that Edward will be brought to proper justice. When you see him again, you don't have to worry about me and mine or the Cullen clan stopping you. You'll see your justice."

He was apparently not expecting that answer. His surprise flowed over me and for an instant I was unable to stop it from pouring from me onto Pete &amp; Char. His emotions ran deep &amp; strong.

"Shit, well, um" he stuttered as he reached to stroke a mustache that I knew would never grow back.

Peter's amusement started to rise again and I sent him a shot of my aggravation. If that fucker though I wasn't willing to remove his pecker and hide it for a year, he was sorely mistaken.

"Right. As much fun as it is sitting here measuring dicks, I left my measuring tape in my other purse, fellas. Chief Swan, where is that lovely daughter of yours? If she is looking as wild as you are, I am sure that a nice long bath and maybe a clean set of clothes could help her start to feel at ease. We didn't exactly get off to the best start, she and I."

Though I had warned Char and Peter both to stay quiet, the shift in Charlie's emotions let me know that perhaps a softer approach was required if we were going to convince this father to bring his daughter back to us. For all he knew, Peter or I would jump her on the spot. He seemed to be one of those over-protective sorts.

I couldn't wait for Alice to arrive and start to occupy her mate. I had been intrigued by what Alice had said about the girl being a shield and I was really looking forward to seeing how that shield could be used in a battle situation. Wouldn't be very easy to train her with daddy dearest being over protective, it's not like I wanted to violate the girl, just train her.

Perhaps if she was out of control, her father would be useful in helping to keep her docile enough to keep the house in one piece. There was no way we would get lucky and have two controlled newborns. One had to be a ticking time bomb if my experience told me anything.

_But fat lot of good my experience was for expecting the enigma that is Chief Swan. _

"Um, right, thank you," he stumbled again.

"Char, Chief. Family calls me Char. And if my momma saw the way we'd greeted you and your baby girl to our home, well, bless her soul, she'd roll right over in her grave," Char's drawl seemed to calm Charlie even further. It wouldn't be long before he would lead us to the remainder of our guests. Sure, we could just follow the scent trail, but we needed him to trust us if we had any chance of getting them to stick around.

"Now, ya'll saw the rooms we _did_ have set up for you, but seeing as how they might not carry the best memories since wakin' up was so tragic for ya'll &amp; all. So, you and Isabella are more than welcome to have those rooms or we have other available, too. They've been fixed, so no worry about that, either. We went ahead and bought ya'll a few clothes just to get you by for a bit, but figure that maybe once the two of you get settled, maybe we could shop online a bit to fill out your wardrobes. As you might be able to tell, we vamps aren't exactly easy on clothes."

I sent a shot of gratitude to Char and she patted my shoulder. I would be talking to her later about disobeying a direct order, but for now I could only be thankful that she seemed to be expediting this whole ordeal.

"Oh. Thanks. And please, call me Charlie, Char. I, um think maybe we should go get Bells now." At the mention of his daughter, I could feel a bit of his anxiety rise. Was he worried for her safety or just nervous being apart?

"Major, why doesn't Char get our visitor settled so that you, me and the Chief here can go and get our other guests?" I could feel the Pete trying to tamp his emotions down. I was getting a trickle of amusement, but the bit of apprehension that also seeped from him made me pause. If we were to run into trouble with the other newborn, Pete would be the best in getting the situation neutralized.

Charlie looked a bit unnerved at having to leave without the person he seemed to feel most at ease with, but I could tell that he wasn't going to back down simply because the company wasn't what he expected. He said he was going to get his daughter and he wouldn't back down even if it made him nervous.

_I think I might like this man after all. _

Giving a nod in our direction, Charlie turned on his heel and took off at a brisk pace. This run through the forest was much slower than the last time we ran after the Chief and his daughter, but with each step we took, I felt a bit lighter.

_This failed mission must have really bothered me more than I knew._

Lustful emotions began to tickle at the edge of my gift. It appeared that we were about to interrupt something that might show just how riled up the Chief could get.

_I knew his control had to have a limit. _

Before any shift in the environment that the ungifted newborn should have been able to detect, he suddenly growled and began to charge forward with a new determined purpose.

_Strange. Is their familial connection so strong that he just knows things? Does it work the same for his daughter? _

I knew without a doubt that the Swan duo would be very interesting indeed. As we entered a small clearing that I'd visited a time or two while escaping the more amorous feelings in the house, I saw two entwined figures. The small, delicate looking brunette was leaning up for a kiss when the vampire holding her noticed our arrival.

For reasons unknown to me, Chief Swan's anger began to infiltrate my emotions and I couldn't help the growl that escaped. I was nearly immune to Peter's mirth by that point, so his chuckle didn't surprise me, nor did his emotion influence my own.

Almost in slow motion, Isabella turned and glowered at her father. She was not happy about being interrupted.

Despite the fury distorting her face, I was immediately taken by her beauty. The vampire holding her wasn't worthy of her pure splendor. The growl accompanying my own decreased as Charlie reacted to his daughter's anger. Mine did not. I couldn't place my own desire to rip her from his unworthy grasp and take her into my arms.

The dark haired beauty looked at me and gasped. Peter's chuckle was merely background noise; Isabella's sudden gasp was the loveliest sound I'd ever heard. The shifting breeze almost seemed to be heralding a shift in my life. Our eyes met across the clearing and her beautiful orange eyes darkened to midnight black as she took in my physique. Her lustful feelings that I'd felt before our arrival were a mere shadow of what she felt as she obviously tasted my scent on her tongue.

Moving from the bastard's arms, I almost heaved a sigh of relief as his hands moved from her perfect alabaster arms. She took another deep breath just as her own scent infiltrated my very being. Her purr told me what she didn't yet know. How could she know? While I'm sure Garrett, the consummate professor of all things vampiric, had told them a great deal about their new lives on their trek to us, I doubt he had covered mates yet. Her confusion at the new noise she was making was nearly adorable.

_She is mine. The vision before me is mine. My sweet newborn mate doesn't yet know that the purr from her chest is a sound that she can make only for me, her mate. _

_And just when the fuck did I start to think anything was fucking adorable? _

She was obviously lost to her own mind, but still drawn to me by our ever strengthening bond. As she neared me, I felt my dead heart almost spring to life. Electricity of the most delicious sort zipped through my body as though struck by lightning.

_Oh, if her proximity does this, what will her actual touch do to me? She shall be the second death of me and if I were to die from these sensations, death would be accepted with a smile. _

Her curiosity peaked and I watched enraptured as her perfect pink tongue came out to wet luscious, pouty lips.

It was due to my distraction at her pale lips that the Chief was actually able to get the drop on me, yet again. The foolish child had forcibly moved my mate away from me. Empath that I am, I had no time to even feel the depth of my own fury before my mind was nearly crippled with the white hot fury coming from my mate.

With a grace and skill seen only in the most seasoned fighters, I watched in awe as she used her two hands to quickly and skillfully remove her father's left arm.

_My mate is powerful. She is perfect. _

_Finally!_

Realization hit Isabella and she glanced at the arm in her grasp. Suddenly, I was almost crippled by her strong emotions of shock, horror and shame. I could feel her desire to run from the site before her, but even more, I felt her love and devotion to her father. Her own emotions at war with one another, she collapsed where she stood and started to cry. Each sob tore at my soul.

_My mate should never cry. _

Her negative emotions continued to assault me. A barrage of feelings that reminded me of a darker time in my life started streaming from Isabella who had curled in on herself. Her self-hatred and confusion were tinted with the slightest bit of longing and desire.

_Does Isabella feel it, too? _

Her actions were pure instinct; a natural reaction to any vampire being removed from their mate. Add to that the fact that it was her father that removed her, it only compounded things. Her inner vampire didn't recognize him as her father, he was a just a male that appeared to be challenging her new mating bond.

As I stood still in shock, Peter had slowly made his way closer to the Chief, obviously in an attempt to help repair the damage done by his enraged newborn vampire daughter. Isabella and I realized at the same time that Peter was hedging closer. However, she didn't know his intent and began get angry again. She didn't know us and her caution was a good thing.

_It wouldn't do to have a mate with no sense of self preservation._

Peter's comment about my mate's fiery personality did not sit well with her. Her anger spiked, which was a slight relief from the self-depreciating feelings she'd been emoting just previously.

Cocky jokester that he was, Peter continued to push her buttons. I would be speaking to him about it later, but he did have good intentions, even if he could have delivered his message without further antagonizing my nearly unhinged mate.

Self-defeat poured from my mate as she grasped her perfect mahogany hair in her delicate fingers and began to pull far harder than I was comfortable with. Without warning, all of Isabella's emotions were gone. Her shield must have come up when her mind was no longer able to handle or process all that was going on around her.

Another look at Peter restoring her father's arm to its original place was her undoing. Despite the ability to feel her emotions with my gift, her sorrow and anguish filled the small clearing as she again sobbed, harder this time. Her confusion was palpable and I could bear it no longer.

No longer able to stay away, I quickly moved towards Isabella and sat on the soft ground. The hum as I approached seemed even stronger now. Crossing my legs, I pulled the balled up form of my mate into my embrace.

_Finally. _

Breathing in and relaxing, sweet Isabella gently placed a hand on my forearm and the intensity of being close to her paled in comparison to the perfect pyre that took over my being when her soft skin touched my own scarred skin.

The relief that I felt when she dropped her shield to me and let her emotions flow was the sweetest relief that I'd yet experienced in my long life. Never had such a perfect cocktail of emotions been aimed at me. I felt her realization of our places in each other's lives, which was quickly followed by feelings of love, contentment and utter completeness.

Minute confusion fluttered through, but I knew that she was just trying to process what I already had.

Isabella Swan was my mate. She owned me mind body and soul.

Another chuckle from Peter's direction drew my head upward and from the sweet smelling crown of my mate's head.

_This motherfucker knew. Alice, too. _

Peter would be dealt with as soon as possible. I knew that Alice planned to arrive sometime tomorrow.

_She may think that time and finding my mate will lessen my fury. Oh, how wrong she is. _

Time for the fairy to face the music. Either she fessed up or next time Peter would be putting appendages back on her instead of her mate.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Alice POV**

_Damn it, Damn it, Sonnova Bitch! Things weren't supposed to work out _exactly_ like this._

I tried to loosen my grip on the steering wheel of the Porsche as I sped through the Canadian wilderness. Without Jasper's calming influence, it was hard to regulate my own emotions when they were this strong. It was also hard knowing that, thanks to a slight change of plans, Jasper's wrath was going to be tenfold what I'd expected upon my arrival.

_Why didn't Ty go with Charlie? For the love of all that is holy… _

While Garrett's attraction to Bella was certainly an issue, he would have not been as quick to react to her 'feminine wiles' as Tyrone had been; if they could even be called that, poor girl. She was just reacting like any vampire would, with a tiny bit more restraint thanks to her relationship with Charlie. Just a few more minutes and things could have _really_ gotten out of hand. If Ty &amp; Bella had done much more than touch, Jasper would have been nearly uncontainable.

_Thank goodness for small miracles. 'Cause they're all that my supposed psychic ass is going to get this time. _

With that one decision, my arrival had gone from a potentially terse greeting to a potential all-out fight. I knew Jasper was not in a forgiving mood and with his mate being so distraught, his mood was even worse. My own nerves were frazzled. I saw Peter's decision to put my Charlie's arm back on. Bella reacted so quickly that there wasn't even time for a vision to hit me before she'd removed **my mate's arm.**

While a part of me wanted to tear an arm off of Bella for harming my mate, I knew that I could not rush in and try to retaliate for act that was purely instinctual on her part. I knew that Bella felt remorse for maiming her own dad, but there was still a part of me that wouldn't mind at least removing a pinky finger, just to give her a taste of her own medicine.

_Calm down, Alice Cullen! You know your anger will get you nowhere with Bella, let alone Charlie. Charlie won't understand immediately what's going on, even if everyone else does. If you act on this anger, you will alienate Bella and stress your relationship with your mate. _

Damned if my thoughts were spot on, but they still had no effect on my rage.

_My mate has been harmed! I need vengeance! _

I shook myself mentally as my inner monster roared at being denied the vengeance that our mate deserved. This was one of the times that I was extra thankful for my gift. After the shock of seeing my mate in such extreme pain, even if it was in my mind's eye, I had a vision of what would happen if I were to attack my mate's daughter. It was not a pleasant one.

I shuddered as I pushed the memory of what could have been from my mind. Well, as far from my mind as any vampire was capable. I knew that Bella and I would be very close in time, but also knew that if I didn't watch myself carefully, she would put up her internal defenses &amp; I wouldn't have the friend that I knew I would eventually have in her.

_My mate is fine. My mate is fine. My mate is fine. _

As I tried to yet again calm myself, I was suddenly lost in a vision.

**_*Vision* _**

_Charlie was breathing heavily as he watched Jasper soothe Bella. His normal calm was absent as he watched his only daughter rubbing on a 'strange' man like a cat against a friendly leg. As my mate's anger mounted, it served to fuel Jasper's. The growl that sounded from Jasper's chest drew Peter's attention from his task of licking Charlie's shoulder in order for the venom to finalize the limb reattachment. _

_"Settle down, Hoss. If you are gettin' your dander up 'cause you're being licked by another man, you should consider yourself one lucky motherfucker and stop that goddamned growling. Many a sexier and more experience man has tried and failed at receiving my tongue's attentions. Now, if'n you're growling at The Major and your baby girl, well, that's whole other kettle of fish," Peter stopped to double check his handiwork before standing and patting Charlie's uninjured shoulder and nodding his head in Jasper &amp; Bella's direction. "That there's a site that no daddy in Earth's history ever likes but every daddy that's blessed enough gets to see. Your deadly little Belladonna there has just found her beau, Chief". _

_Sweet Charlie's face showed his complete &amp; utter confusion. He opened and closed his mouth several times to respond, but nothing came out. _

**_*End Vision*_**

My poor, sweet Charlie. He needed me. He can't understand that Bella isn't denying him as her father, she is just following her instincts.

With a sigh, I pressed the gas petal until I heard the metal start to give way. Even at the rate of 198 miles per hour, I couldn't get to my mate fast enough. At the same time, time moved too swiftly; before I knew it, I'd be in the proximity of Jasper &amp; his wrath.

I just hoped that the bags of washed &amp; folded department store clothing that I had for Charlie &amp; Bella would enough of a peace offering to alleviate some of Jasper's fury. Surely he would appreciate my efforts at non-couture shopping for our mates, right?

**Charlie POV**

I had no idea what the fuck was going on. One moment, I am walking in on Ty and Bella about to kiss. Sure, I might have overreacted, but what dad wants to watch some damned bozo slobber all over his daughter? But then, when Bella caught sight of Whitlock, something changed. I could somehow feel it – and then she started to stalk the blonde fool like she was going to molest him, well, that was just too much. She didn't know what she was doing. How could she?

_I get it; poor kid has… um… needs. Shit. It's not like I've been immune to those kinds of urges. _

I, too, had felt all kinds of horny since we'd awakened to this life. I knew how I would feel if I were in Bella's place. If our companions were women instead of men, poor Bells would probably abandon me; I don't know that I'd be able to avoid throwing the first willing female to the forest floor and forgetting about everything for the next few weeks.

_Shit… to be able to lose myself in some nice, hot, tight…_

_Fuck. Focus, Swan! _

Sometimes I felt that taking care of my daughter was one of the only things that was keeping me sane in my new life. Or death. Whatever we were gonna call it, my existence seemed like a swirl of chaos and Bella was the eye of my storm. She was the calm that kept me from giving in to the monster I felt inside.

I kept my cool so that she would feel secure. I tried to keep us on the 'straight &amp; narrow' because I knew that Bella's soft heart would break if she actually caused harm to a human being. Sometimes, she felt guilty enough after a "cute" animal. Even if that "cute" animal would normally be able to eat her for dinner instead; we'd had a particularly hard afternoon once after a blonde colored black bear became her lunch.

I knew that she was on a hair trigger. But never in my wildest imaginings did I EVER think she would rip my fucking arm off for doing, what I thought at the time, was the right thing. I had an inkling now, based on her apparent comfort level with a fucker who was quickly garnering my mistrust, that she knew something that I didn't.

_It had to do with that feeling I had. First, I feel that I need to hurry thru the woods to Bells. That lands me in the middle of a dad/teenage-daughter situation that sucked enough. Then, when that blonde fucker Whitlock catches my daughter's eye, I felt another change in the air. _

Hearing the water turn off, I moved from the wall outside Bella's en suite bathroom. Looking across the room at Whitlock, who'd refused to be too far from _my daughter, _I flexed my fingers, feeling the lingering pain in my left shoulder. Bella had shown her displeasure at her initial removal from Whitlock with extreme prejudice.

_Shit still smarts, too. Especially where Peter licked. Asshole. _

After the cluster-fuck that was our initial meeting with Peter &amp; Jasper Whitlock, Peter got my arm pasted back on and we rambled back to their home base. The entire trek back, Ty kept mumbling about "country ass, cornbread, cock blocking cowboys," "badass sexy vamp bitches," and "back woods, crazy ass Springer-type shit" – I couldn't say that I disagreed with him too much. Well, except for the whole, cock blocking thing. I'd have blocked the cock, should it come to that point, too. And I didn't care for him calling my daughter "sexy" or a "bitch" either.

Ty wasn't good enough for Bella. Garrett wasn't good enough for Bella. And from what I'd seen of this Whitlock fucker, he probably wasn't, either. I'd not met a man yet who was of the caliber that I'd consider acceptable for my pride and joy. Once upon a time when she was small, I thought that maybe Jacob Black, my friend Billy's son, would maybe be good enough, but if he was a lying sack of shit like his dad, then that possibility was a shitty one, too.

The door opened just enough for Char to escape, accompanied by massive amounts of steam from Bella's shower. She hadn't been too confident in her ability to handle the bathroom hardware, let alone her new clothes, so Char had offered to help her. I was more than grateful that she'd stepped in and offered before the fucking perv Whitlock offered.

Bella might have accepted an offer like that from him and I don't know what my reaction would have been.

Even worse, what would **Bella's **reaction have been? Peter's nickname of "Belladonna" seemed to be a bit too fitting. My little girl was quite the force to be reckoned with and judging by the minimal effort it took for her to rip my arm from my body, probably just as lethal as her nick-namesake.

"No worries, boys. She'll be right out. She's still stuck in front of the mirror. I can remember the first time I saw myself for the first time after my change. It's shocking! Sweet girl is still not used to the girl looking back at her. Give her a few minutes," Char said, directing her last comment more to Jasper than myself.

_That fucker better not have been planning on barging in on my daughter in the damned bathroom!_

Jasper and I growled at the same time, but for obviously different reasons.

It was obvious that their connection was some sort of new vampy mumbo jumbo that I am sure Garrett was now just all too excited to tell us about. Normally his vampire lessons were something that I looked forward to. I could better take care of myself and Bella if I knew everything there was to know about being a vampire. I had a feeling that this lesson was gonna just piss me off.

"Now, Charlie, why don't we get you squared away? Your room is right next door, with your own bathroom, stocked up and everything. Do you want to get cleaned up while Bella finishes? After ya'll have had a chance to freshen up, I'm thinkin' we could all head outside for a chat. Much as I don't mind a remodel every now and again, I think the locals will get suspicious if we hit up that hardware store too much!" Char's attempt at hospitality was tempting. I did want to get cleaned up. While it was no real bother to me, getting at least the dried salt off of my skin would be refreshing.

I just didn't trust fucking Whitlock to stay away from my daughter.

"C'mon, Chief! Sooner you get your ditch scrubbed, the sooner we can get all this shit aired out. You an' the Major have such big sticks up your asses right now that it's stopped bein' funny, even to me. Hell, Chalie, I'll even help you like Char helped out Belladonna! I have magical loofa skills like you wouldn't believe" Pete's jovial offer from the door of Bella's room drew my attention.

_Fuck. Bella is a grown up. Well, as grown as she's gonna get thanks to that fucking Cullen. God knows she's taken care of Renee for years. Shit, she took my damned arm off. She should be fine for a few minutes while I rinse myself off. Besides, I can't let these fools think that their mere presence can dictate my actions. _

"Thank you, Char. I could stand a quick shower. You'll help Bella if she needs anything?"

Char understood what I meant but didn't say, 'you'll keep her safe from that pervert, right?'

Whitlock growled.

_Fuck him. No matter how old he is or what he thinks he knows Bella's still my kid. She's had my heart since the first moment that she grabbed my hand in the delivery room. He can just hold the fuck on. _

"Of course, Charlie. You just go on. Bella &amp; I will be just fine," she advised politely.

I turned my back on Whitlock, against my better instincts &amp; left to go to my own shower; the sound of Char admonishing Peter for trying to follow was almost enough to make the situation comical.

"Peter Jackson Whitlock, you get your ass right back here! You know that Chief Swan will be just fine without you and your 'magical loofa' skills."

Maybe if I could get a handle of this Whitlock phase that Bella seemed to be in, then our stay here wouldn't be so bad. Pete &amp; Char were a hoot!

**Jasper POV**

The emotional climate of our home had dramatically changed over the course of the past four hours. After meeting my soul mate, my Isabella, it was almost easy to ignore the miasma of emotions swirling in the walls of the house. The quagmire of emotions that would normally weigh me down: the confusion, frustration &amp; anger of Ty (most likely at the fact that he would not, under any circumstances, be getting any closer to my mate); the confusion &amp; delight of Garret who was salivating to get right back up on his teacher's pulpit; the humor &amp; anticipation of Peter; the anger, mistrust, and oddly enough, slight humor of Chief Swan (who still hadn't extended the offer to me that he be called "Charlie" as he had with Pete &amp; Char); the fear, anticipation &amp; hospitality of Char; all were easily overlooked in favor of the delightful emotions coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

Bella, my mate, was so innocent and pure in her emotions. I could feel her fascination with the reflection that she was surely trying to adjust to. I could feel her nostalgia, probably for the face that she'd come to know in her former life. Her delight at the feel of the water and soap on her skin had been magnificent. I had listened with rapt attention as Char instructed her on how to handle the bathroom fixtures without breaking them. My smart mate had only needed to be instructed once. She had been so grateful for the simple clothes that Char offered after her shower. She'd even worried about putting Char out by using her clothes. When she learned that they were clothes that Char had picked up for her, she felt a distinct feeling of obligation. I could tell she was used to doing things for herself. My mate was independent.

Each new emotion that fluttered through her rapidly cycling mind was a whisper across my skin. What I wouldn't give to be able to know the thoughts that accompanied the emotions that caressed me like a spring breeze.

_Well, I didn't want to know bad enough to allow Fuckward the opportunity to get close enough to read her mind. _

Just as I heard the water starting for the Chief's shower, Bella opened the bathroom door to peek out. Her eyes roamed the room, pausing on Char, only to continue until she stopped her gaze on me.

_I swear with a look she can almost start my long dead heart. _

"C'mon out, Sug. Your daddy's in the shower. Why don't ya'll come on out to the deck with me &amp; we'll wait for Charlie out there?"

Char's invitation seemed to be all the prompting that Bella needed. She zipped out of the room, silently shutting the door behind her and then flitting to my side. With hesitation, she reached towards my hand, but started to withdraw. Unwilling to allow the opportunity for any skin to skin contact pass, I met her half way and gave her hand a small squeeze. She gave me a bashful glance before we started to follow Char out to the back deck.

I made my way to the cushioned bench that Char had purchased, hoping that Bella would continue to hold my hand and perhaps sit beside me. To my delight, she ignored the seat cushion and went straight for my lap. It was in this position Charlie found us.

Trying to appear casual, his emotions betraying him at every step, Chief Swan emerged onto the deck after his very brief shower. It was obvious by that he'd taken as little time away from his daughter and me as possible.

Bella stiffened, her fear of his response quite apparent but seemingly unwarranted this time. Offering only the slightest glance at her position in my lap, Charles Swan crossed his arms and fixed his intense eyes on Garrett.

"Alright, let's hear it, Professor. What knowledge are you going to drop on me that will explain what the fuck is going on now? I thought you'd gone over Vampire 101 already. Don't recall you mentioning anything that would explain how shit went tits-up so fucking fast once we met up with The Whitlock's here."

Garrett cleared his throat and began, "Well, Charlie, the chances of me even needing to explain this topic so soon into your new life are actually quite rare. I didn't think that this particular subject was one that was of import, just yet, which is why I had yet to address it. The reason for Bella's, um, visceral reaction to Jasper is simple. Well, simple in vampire terms, anyway. You see Charlie, the thing is that Bella and Jasper are mates."

From my lap, Bella shifted and looked towards the vampire who held the floor and our collective attention. "Mates, what do you mean, mates? Like socks? Or like, Australian 'mate'?"

"No, Belladonna, the Major &amp; you ain't besties from down under. Now, me on the other hand, I'm always lookin' for a new biffy, so if you like a good Dolly Parton movie marathon, then you and me and my Char here can have a chat," Peter joked. "As to you and him bein' a pair of matched up socks, that's a bit closer. Ya'll are two sides of the same coin, little darlin'. Matter of fact, I think ya'll even flip just about the same way! 'Course, I doubt ol' Jasper came out of the gate with limb removin' techniques like you got!"

_Fucker always has a joke. Stupid sonnovabitch. _

Her mortification was clear to not only me, but everyone else. Not only did Peter bring up one of the sorest possible subjects, Bella hurtin' her daddy, but Pete had to go and embarrass her while he was at it, too. She was still sitting with me, but something that Pete said sparked a bit of fear in her. Despite her draw to me, I was pretty sure that her fear had to do with what us being 'mates' meant more than the rest of the shit that fell out of Peter's mouth. I didn't think that she was worried about hurting her daddy again, no, she still felt too bad about that. Not for the first time, or I'm certain the last, I wished that I knew what was running through her head.

Thus far, she had shown no hesitation in being close to me, to the point that she was pleasantly situated on my lap, but she was afraid of something sparked by the mere start of this discussion.

**Bella POV**

_Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch! Really, do we have to ALL be present for this particular discussion? _

I **knew** where this was going to go. It had been obvious from the moment I'd smelled him. I had needed him then, but it was cemented cell deep the moment we touched. I just didn't want to have this conversation with my dad here. And no matter how ready I'd been to jump Ty just prior to the arrival of Jasper, my apparent _mate, _I was scared of what all this whole 'mate' business could involve.

Sure, a casual sexual encounter wasn't how I'd envisioned my first time, but it would be a lot easier than whatever I'm sure this whole 'mate' business entailed. Girls my age were supposed to find a boyfriend, round the bases &amp; then go to "home." Maybe get drunk at a party and do something stupid. No matter how natural &amp; right it felt, this whole strange level of instant comfort that I had with this strange sexy-pire felt so intense that it scared me.

And I was also scared of what would happen when Dad finally left the two of us alone together. I knew what I ultimately wanted to have happen. It was scary enough getting up the nerve to even try my silly attempt at seducing a man who I'd at least had some time to get to know. Now it was taking every bit of self-control that I had to not rub myself against him as I sat in his lap for the second time today.

Chuckles, who I'd come to know was named Peter, was turning out to be quite the buffer. I don't quite know what I'd do if it weren't for his brief moments of levity. Sure, I could do without the reminder about tearing Dad's arm off, but it did feel good to know that my apparent fighting prowess had been witnessed by these seasoned warriors. So maybe I'd stand a chance at of at least getting a hit or two in on Pete should his mouth get too embarrassing. I _did _have Char's permission, after all.

My bathroom time with Char had been quite informative. While she was tight lipped about much of anything that had to do with Jasper and my reaction to him, she was otherwise quite happy to help me figure out how to work things on my own without breaking them and she was more than happy to talk about Peter and his antics. I'd been briefed on his sense of humor; Char had advised that he really didn't mean any harm and that humor was his way of working through tense situations, something that apparently Jasper wasn't always completely fond of.

I could handle jokes. The intensity of my feelings for the man on whose lap I'd taken temporary residence, not so much.

"Vampire mates are actually a quite rare and wonderful phenomenon. Most vampires, myself included, spend the majority of their existence searching for their mate. A mate is many things, but most feel that a mate is the missing piece of one's soul. A mate is a best friend, confidant, companion, soul mate &amp; lover," Garrett explained.

Somehow, Dad was able to keep quiet, up until Garret said the word "lover" – at which point his face transformed into one that would have me worrying about his cardiovascular health if we actually still had beating hearts. Certainly he would have had a heart attack or stroke if we'd still been human when we had this conversation.

"Now just a damned minute, Garrett, do you expect me to believe that this vampire is the 'perfect match' for my daughter? I'm supposed to buy some cockamamie story that Bella is the perfect match for this warrior that you've cautioned us so much about pissing off? My daughter?! No. I call bullshit."

"Charlie, did you ever believe in the possibility of human soul mates? What is so different about vampires having such a thing?" Char asked, sounding honestly curious.

"Soul mates are just a happy title that young couples easily throw around. I know all too easily how those kind of things can head south in a hurry. Once the shine and new relationship smell wear off, shit gets hard and people leave," Dad scoffed.

I'd always known that Renee had done a number on him, but I'd never really realized just how deeply her leaving had cut him. Dad was really a jaded dude.

It was at that moment that Chuckles-the-one-man-peanut-gallery decided to pop up and start in again with the laughter. Jasper's responding growl from underneath me delivered a delicious set of vibrations throughout my entire body.

_Yummy! If a growl feels that good when I'm just sitting on his lap…_

Another growl ripped through Jasper, this one had a decidedly different meaning, as he tried to discreetly shift beneath me. Perhaps I had a similar effect on him?

_Yum, yummy, yum! _

"Well, Chief, you might find yourself singin' a whole other tune before you even know it," Chuckles said in a sweet, sing song voice.

"Captain, none of your bullshit right now," Jasper quickly replied.

"No, Major, I think that good ol' Charlie here is fixin' to be more understanding than just about any ol' dad in the history of dating daughters," Chuckles laughed.

The foreign sound of a fancy sounding car entered my range of hearing. The sound was quite odd after so long of hearing so few man made noises.

"If my ears don't deceive, that sounds like the melodious engine of a Porsche 911 Turbo, wouldn't you reckon, J?" Peter queried.

Jasper's minute tension slipped from his sleek frame as he seemed to register what Peter had said.

_I wonder what the hell that specific car has to do with anything? _

The vehicle in question came closer and closer, until it stopped and the door quickly opened. I tensed, waiting for the newcomer to make themselves known. Jasper, Peter &amp; Char all seemed to be at ease, as did Garrett. Ty was just watching all of us as if we were some sort of reality TV show.

_I guess all of this is quite entertaining, if one isn't right smack in the middle of it, like, oh, I don't know… ME!_

Only Dad looked as tense as I felt. The sound of a rapidly approaching vampire set the two of us on edge. At least I had Jasper to help calm me down. Poor Dad seemed more alone than ever. A huge part of me wanted to comfort him, but the safety I felt in Jasper's arms was such that I couldn't bring myself to leave his loose embrace.

Suddenly, a small, spritely looking female rounded the corner. She seemed vaguely familiar; she must be one of the missing Cullen Clan. I must have seen her at my brief stint at Forks High. She looked at me in Jasper's lap and offered a gentle smile before looking directly at my dad.

Though I didn't know her, I could almost literally see the tension leaving her frame as she fixed her large topaz eyes on Dad. She seemed to both relax and perk up at the same time, if that was even possible. The wind shifted and sent her unfamiliar scent directly towards those of us already gathered on the deck. I watched in utter shock and amazement as the look on my dad's face went from one of uncertainty and confusion to shock and realization.

_Oh fuck. Fuck me. Fuckicky fucking fuck! _

_I know that look. That's the same look that Jasper just gave me in the clearing. _

In that moment, any desire to be really understood by my dad vanished. I **knew **that he understood what Jasper &amp; I felt. And I finally had a glimpse into my dad's way of thinking.

_No way this bitch is good enough for my daddy. _

We all stood still, assessing the situation when suddenly, Ty finally speaks.

"Wait a damned minute, Cornbread Junior! You mean to tell me that old, big-tittied blonde bitch has more than one movie?"

END Chapter 12

_**A/N: Well, that's it for now. I am formulating chapter 14 in my brain as I type this... but the ideas, they are a percolatin'. Thanks to BetterInTexas (Jason) for being the bestest pre-reader in the universe and for helping this story rock a tiny bit more by letting his badass motherfuckin' OC be a guest star in my story. Tho, Ty would be pissed for anyone to claim to "LET" him do anything. He does what he wants. Except for the last line, I MAY have totally ad-libbed that AFTER the pre-read. So hope I didn't piss off either of the fellas. 'Cause they normally 'okay' all of Ty's lines. **_

_**As always, there's at least ONE extra chapter of BOGO available on betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com. Also, that's where I keep my other tiny one shots. Just sayin'. And if you've ever been nosy about the loony ass bitch that writes this story, well, I'm a damned open book on that site. AND we have some AMAZING authors with totally original works there. Shit that'd rock your socks WAY moreso than this thing here. Only warning: no haters... we're a cool group who build up and don't tear down. Shit talkers shit stirrers need not apply. **_

_**Thanks again for reading. You guys make me smile. **_


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